Wattpad High
by Tando
Summary: The death book on every cliché, archetype, and stereotype. Wattpad High is a manifestation of all of literature's worst aspects, from Mary Sues, to creepy stalkers we're suppose to find romantic. And the protagonist? A self-insert character suspiciously named after the author. It's sure to be a ride.
1. The Contrived Introduction

Chapter 1

 _Hi my name is Tando. I am thirteen years old and am starting my education at Wattpad High. Wattpad High is a super exclusive boarding school located somewhere in first-world America. Here, aspiring writers learn the ins-and-outs of appeasing the vast internet audience, and I'm about to sta-_

"No, no, no," I mumble, before deleting that statement from the blank document page.

It's true though, I am a new student at Wattpad High, and my first assignment is to write an introductory to myself. I sit at my computer screen, and turn around in my office swivel chair. I'd just finished unpacking, and having beat my roommate to the punch, I'd chosen the bed by the window looking out onto the courtyard. I hadn't packed a lot, besides claiming the desk that came with the dorm, my only other addition was a small bookshelf to the side of my bed filled with my favorite reads.

Another bed sits opposite the one I chose, the one for my roommate, who hasn't arrived yet. What would she be like? Would she be a giddy, fun-loving sidekick who'd quickly become my best friend? Or maybe a wild, raunchy counterpart who'd show me the fun side of life. Or maybe…

"Boom!" a female mid-pitched voice announces, as the door is slammed open.

I swerve around to find the most drop-dead gorgeous girl I've ever seen. With a stick-thin figure, professional makeup job, an outfit straight out of a Disney Channel sitcom, and dark salon quality tousled hair that would put the actresses on the CW to shame, she looks like she just stepped out of a Photoshopped cover of _Seventeen_.

She turns to me, "...what are you doing here?"

I'm practically speechless, but I manage to stutter, "Uhm...I'm your roommate."

Her stern scowl turns to a somewhat indifferent smile, "Oh...coolio," she extends her hand, and after some hesitation, I shake it, "my name's Mary. Nice to meet you."

Mary swivels around to face the dorm room, the plain beige walls contrasting perfectly against her dark hair and red ensemble. I admire her red and black plaid miniskirt. Where did she get that?

"Cool outfit, where'd you get it?" I ask.

Mary rolls her eyes, hopping down onto the unclaimed bed, "Ugh...look, I'm too lazy to actually describe it so...I'm just link a Polyvore, mkay?" She takes out her phone and punches something into it quickly.

My phone goes off, sitting on my desk next to computer, and I pick it up. Low and behold, she's sent a link, just as promised.

Okay...a bit rude, but expediency is one of the advantages of the modern world. But wait...something's wrong here…

"Hang on, how do you have my number?"

She giggles, "I just...do. I have a lot of things."

Trying to ignore how awkward that is, I glance around, and notice that Mary doesn't have any bags or luggage with her.

I ask her, "Uh...have your bags arrived yet?"

Mary perks up, "Oh, I almost forgot."

She snaps her fingers, and her side of the dorm is suddenly filled with trendy decorations, a full dresser, and a retro disco ball, which spins multi-colored lights from the center of the room.

My jaw drops, "Wha...wha...how…?"

"Did I not mention? I have omnipotent powers. I'm also a concert pianist and an oncologist," she announces nonchalantly.

I chuckle, unsure of whether or not she's joking, "Do you also speak six languages?"

"No...I speak _all_ of them. 手掛かりをつかみます," Mary counters, placing her hands on her hips.

And of course, of all the languages she chooses, she goes with Japanese. I stare in both amazement and disbelief. Okay, this girl is highly talented, kind of scary, with inexplicable magical powers...I'm not sure if this is just normal everyday high school or something different entirely.

There's a knock at the door, just loud enough to be heard. Mary rolls her eyes, "God, that must be my cousin, Sue."

She gets up and answers the door, and the girl standing in the doorway is just as beautiful as Mary. She has straight mousy brown hair with perfectly combed bangs. Despite having bangs, her skin is flawless, if a little paler than Mary's. However, she doesn't seem to have picked up on Mary's fashion sense, as she sports a baggy, oversized sweatshirt and matching sweats. She's practically burying the bottom half of her head in her sweatshirt, and when she sees me, she jumps back.

"Wha-what's she doing here?!" a wispy, emotionless voice peeps out.

Mary points to me, "That's Tando, she's my roommate."

"How do you know my name?" I question again.

She blows a raspberry, "I told you silly, omnipotence. And don't mind Sue, she's shy. But we balance each other out," she turns back to her cousin, "so Sue, have you settled into your dorm?"

Sue shakes her head, "I...I tried, but my roommate is super, super mean and I...I just got so scared I left the room."

She gestures to directly behind her, and I lean over in my chair to find a small box of items on the floor behind her.

"No one messes with my cuz, who does this girl think she is?" Mary crosses her arms.

"I don't know...all I know is, I was unpacking when some guy came in, and he started talking to me for some weird reason. Then she came in...and got all mad...I don't know!" Sue covers her face with her oversized sweatshirt sleeves.

Mary grabs Sue by the arm, "C'mon, let's meet this witch...and you're coming too Tando!"

I bound up from my chair, "Uhm...why?"

"Because plot dictates it! Let's go!"


	2. Establishing Conflict

Chapter 2

I follow Mary and Sue to another dorm room on the other side of the hallway. We peek into the open doorway to see another gorgeous girl. Wow, everyone at Wattpad High is so pretty and picturesque, you'd think you were at a modeling school and not a writing school. This girl however, was not as pretty as either Mary or Sue. She's thin, but in an early 2000s sort of way, when girls were still allowed to go through puberty. Her hair is a platinum blond that goes down to her...pronounced upper chestal area. With makeup as light as Mary's is dark, she's dressed in an all-pink ensemble, tight pink baseball shirt and equally tight matching miniskirt with shoes that can only be accurately described as "hooker heels".

She has her arms around a boy who defies explanation. He's absolutely attractive beyond measure, and yet, there are no ways to describe them. Typical? Standard? These words come to mind, but they don't do justice as to how beautiful, yet bland this boy is.

The boy looks over the girl's shoulder, "Oh hey babe, we've got company."

She turns around, and rolls her eyes, "You again. What did I say about this dorm being taken? And oh, how cute, you brought friends."

"Look, I get that you need to exude some kind of superiority in order to compensate for some sort of deficiency in your life, but don't do it with my cuz," Mary challenges, stepping forward.

"Ugh, do you know who I am? My daddy is a bajillionaire. You have no right-"

Mary snaps her fingers and a piece of duct tape slaps over the girl's face. She pulls at the tape, but is unable to pull it off.

The boy walks away from the girl, seemingly enraptured by something, or rather, someone. Like a man possessed, he marches past Mary and I and turns himself toward Sue.

"...hey, you're...really interesting," he mumbles, a puppy-dog smile forming around his lips as he stares into her eyes.

She giggles, turning her head away, "You're...really pretty…"

The two of them become locked in each other's glance, completely ignoring everyone else in the room, who all stare at them awkwardly.

Mary suddenly dives in between them, "Uh, hey, it was me who saved you from that witch."

The boy glances over at the girl, who's still trying to pry off the magical duct tape, "Oh, that's Barbie. Everyone hates her, but she's somehow popular anyway, you know?"

He takes Sue's hand, seemingly only talking to her, "My name's Erik. What's yours?"

"Sue…" she whispers, before hiding her face with her hands.

"Well Sue, would you like to be my girlfriend?"

Mary, stunned in absolute disbelief, pushes Sue aside, "Look bub, I don't care how drop-dead...handsome you are, but you can't date my cousin after only having just met her!"

He shrugs, "Hey, they did it in _Frozen_."

"Actually, they did not," I correct, "Han proposes to Anna, but Elsa disallows her from-"

"Why are you here?" Erik asks me.

I pause, contemplating my answer, "...so the audience can see this unfold?"

Barbie finally rips the duct tape off of her face, "Erik, you're with me! You can't just...switch girls like that!"

He glances around, "Uhm...yeah I can."

"Look, all y'all need to get out of here! This is _my_ dorm, and the decorating committee is coming soon! So out!"

Mary walks up to Barbie, and holds her hand out in front of her. A red aura glows from her hand, and Barbie's blue eyes begin to glow the same red, "You will share your dorm room with Sue. You will both hate it, but you will put up with it. Plus, it'll make for good drama."

The red fades from Barbie's eyes, and standing completely still, she drones, "Yes miss."

Mary smiles, "Good."

She saunters out of the room, and starts walking back to her dorm, "Alright Sue, you've got your dorm. Start unpacking before Pretty in Pink wakes up from her spell coma."

Sue shirks, grabbing her small box of stuff and shuffling into her room.

"Hey Sue, so, how does dinner tonight sound? There's this trendy cafe in the town by the school. I could take you," Erik proposes.

She chuckles, "Wow, uhm...I don't know…"

"Alright, I'll see you then. Wear something pretty," he tells her, before exiting the dorm.

I walk back into my dorm, where Mary is lying down on her bed. I sit down at my desk as she slaps her head, "Ugh...why...why her?!"

"What do you mean?" I ask, giving her permission to rant about the situation.

"I can do _everything!_ And yet, Sue, shy mouse Sue, gets picked up by possibly the hottest guy on campus. It's not fair!"

I shrug, "Maybe he finds her mysterious."

"I summoned a piece of duct tape to shut up that bitch! And then I performed mind control on her! What's not mysterious about that?!"

Personally, I'd find that more scary than mysterious, but, whatever floats her boat.

"Don't sweat it. There are other fish in the sea," I assure her.

I turn on my computer, and continue working on my personal statement. What should I include? Maybe what I've written?

From the reflection of my laptop, I see Mary peering over my shoulder, "Oh, that school assignment thingy? Already finished it."

"Of course you did."

She walks over and sits back down on her bed, "So...what are your genres? Fanfiction or Romance?"

"I do a little bit of everything. Mostly Fantasy and Science Fiction but I've been meaning to write a Historical Fiction for the longest time and-"

Mary shakes her head, "No, no, no, those genres aren't going to get you anywhere at Wattpad High. It's either Fanfiction, or Romance. Take your pick."

"Fanfiction and Romance aren't the only genres out there," I counter.

"True, but they're the only genres that turnover consistent numbers. And by that I mean views, votes, and comments. You might find a niche story that gets a couple mil every once in a blue moon, but they're never a guarantee."

She reaches behind her and pulls out a cigarette and lighter, flicking open the lighter and putting the cigarette to the flame.

"Ugh, would you not?" I complain from my desk.

She chuckles, smoke wafting in the air, "Why? Smoking is suppose to make me look grown up, and mature. Plus, I'll never get lung, mouth, or throat cancer, and my breath won't smell like shit. You know, like a normal person would."

I sniff the air, and immediately start coughing, "Contradiction...the room already smells like shit. I'mma open a window."

Getting up from my chair, I walk over to the window. Pulling up the shades, I spot a tall man in dark clothes staring directly up at our window.

Stepping away from the window, I'm not sure how else to react, "Woah...that's kind of creepy."

I look back at the window, and the man has disappeared. Cracking open the window, I begin to walk back to my desk.

Mary's busy looking up at the smoke she's blowing out into the room, her sensuous eyes staring upwards. Perfect being or not, a bad habit is a bad habit. But Mary, Sue, Erik, even Barbie are such larger than life characters, how could I distinguish myself among them? Maybe the answer was not to, to blend in, stick to the shadows. Or maybe, the answer was to simply, watch the events unfold, and enjoy the ride.


	3. Fleshing Out Characters

Chapter 3

In our dorm, I watch as Mary prepares Sue for her date with Erik. Mary scowls as she combs Sue's hair, yanking so hard with the comb that she may just rip all of her hair right out of her head.

"OUCH! Mary...maybe you could be a little gentler...please?" Sue whispers, her shoulders hunched down and neck buried in her sweatshirt.

Mary rolls her eyes, "Relax cuz, I'm an award winning stylist, I know what I'm doing."

"Sue, have you ever been on a date?" I ask, sitting on my bed.

She shakes her head, "Are you kidding me? Of course not, I'm as innocent as can be-"

"She's been with hundreds of men," Mary interrupts.

"No I haven't!" Sue denies, raising her mousey voice to its maximum volume.

Mary chuckles, before explaining, "Her memories reset after every break up. At least in her mind, she's always been, and always will be, a sweet, inexperienced virgin."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sue persists, crossing her arms.

Her cousin laughs again, "Watch, you'll see."

I pull up a chair next to Sue. I'd originally thought that she would be the normal one of the cousins, but I guess she's just as eccentric as Mary.

"So Sue, since you've 'never been on a date'...what are you going to talk to Erik about?"

Her eyes pop, as if she's surprised, "Huh?"

"What are you two going to talk about?" I repeat.

"Well...love, I guess," she shrugs.

I furrow my eyebrows, "That's it? ...love? I mean, it's not a bad start but, that isn't the only thing available. What about school, family, common interests?"

Sue giggles, "Well, I'd seem awfully boring if I talked about those things, now wouldn't I?"

"You'd be boring talking about anything cuz," Mary spits.

"Not necessarily," I counter, "pretend I'm Erik…what would you say to me? Right when you see me on your date?"

"Hi…" Sue waves, right before Mary takes a good yank to her hair, "OWE!"

"Hey, so...how are you liking Wattpad High?" I ask her, imitating Erik's masculine voice.

"It's nice...I guess…"

"Just nice? C'mon, tell me how you really feel. You can be honest with me," I, as Eric, pull out the most cliched line I could think of.

She giggles, "Wow, you're so sweet Eric…"

Sue suddenly panics, burying her head in her sweatshirt, "Oh, no, that's so dorky, I could never say that!"

I raise an eyebrow, as far as responses go, that wasn't necessarily bad, just...sort of generic, which would fit Erik perfectly.

"Tando, I know this is a huge favor to ask, but...could you maybe scout Erik out before the date?" Sue asks.

"Wha-...what? What would you have me do?"

She shrugs, "Nothing big, just go to his dorm and...I don't know, ask him a couple of questions. You know, what he looks for in a girl. How she should look and act…"

"Sue, you're not going to shape yourself just to please him, are you? Just be yourself, and if that's not what he wants, well, then he's not the right guy," I argue.

Both Mary and Sue stare at me with blank faces, before turning to each other, and bursting into laughter.

"Oh ha, ha," I roll my eyes.

"So would you do it...please? I promise, if you help me I'll help you get a guy in the next storyline," she promises.

"Hey!" Mary protests, "I thought I would have the love interest next storyline."

Sue winks, "No promises."

"Well, I've needed an excuse to get out of the dorm anyway. Alright, I'll check out your prospective boyfriend," I promise, getting out of my chair.

"Thanksies!" she giggles.

Mary rolls her eyes, "Whatever, say, wouldn't I be the better choice for the job? I am a love guru and master matchmaker."

Sue turns her head up to her cousin, "Yeah, and also a master at stealing men."

I can't help but laugh as I leave the dorm, exiting into the hallway, and out into the courtyard. Wattpad High's campus is stunning, modern brick buildings with an open courtyard filled with shady trees and green grass. A bright midday sunlight streams down, illuminating all of the scenery in a beautiful, sun kissed light...or maybe that's just someone's Instagram filter.

As I walk along the path, I start hearing another pair of footsteps behind me. Is there someone behind me? I turn around, but no one else is in the courtyard. Weird…

I pick up the pace as I make my way to the boy's dorm, which is considerably smaller than the girl's. Makes sense, boys are almost nonexistent on Wattpad, and when they are, they're scared off by girls trying to flirt with them. But I guess a guy like Eric would be into that kind of attention…

Finding Eric's dorm, I knock, and he immediately responds, "It's not locked."

I open the door, and my eyes drop out of my sockets as I take in Eric's dorm. There's a single bed, meaning that he has the room to himself, and boy, does it show. Multiple wigs and accessories hang on top shelves, clothes of different colors, sizes, and shapes. Dark, sharp suits hang next to bright purple marching outfits. But the piece-de-resistance is his vanity. Rows of bottles line the top, along with several makeup palettes packed on top of each other, with brushes and tubes of eyeliner scattered on the desk area. Is Erik a huge fashion enthusiast, or does he dress up as all the characters he writes?

Erik stands in front of his vanity, looking at himself in the mirror, "Oh, hey...Tando, right? You're Sue's friend."

I slowly nod my head, "Mhm…"

"So...you've come to claim me before your friend can? Competitive, I like it."

I shake my head, "No, no, nothing like that. I…"

Trying to drum up an excuse, I glance around and all I can see is his endless slew of clothes and makeup.

"I heard about your fashion collection and well...I had to see it for myself."

He perks up, "R-really? Well, I'll give you the grand tour."

Good, I think he's fallen for it. I've never been super into fashion, but hopefully I know enough to pass off by Erik's standards.

"I like to think of myself as a performance artist, a character actor," he explains, "I can become anyone, fit into any role, whatever you need, I can become."

He grabs a comb and a bottle of brown hair dye. Without even using a towel, he dunks a heavy helping of dye onto his head. His hair seems to absorb the liquid, and his hair bleeds into a light brown. With the comb, he styles his hair into a very distinctive side-sweep.

"And of course...the clothes…" he leads me over to a closet door, and he opens it to reveal a whole separate room with endless racks and shelves of clothes. The walls and floors are painted a bright pink illuminated by backstage lights hanging on the walls and on the spinning racks.

Erik dives into the changing room, closing the door behind him. I wander the impressive closet, how could the dorm administrators allow something like this?

To the side, I spot several plaques and awards in a large trophy case. The largest one, a golden trophy shaped like the Wattpad "W", is for "Most Used Character Archetype" to a Jenn, Erik. ...Erik's last name is Jenn?

I turn around as Erik steps out of the changing room, in a white v-neck, jeans, dockers, and black shades, "This is my most used look. Guess who it is?"

I wrap my hand around my chin, "Hmm...the brown hair in a sideswept look...white v-neck...shades...Harry Styles?"

"Yep! Now watch this!"

Erik ducks back into the changing room, and seconds later bursts out in a completely different look. Short, snow white hair, digitally smooth skin, a dull blue sweatshirt, rugged brown jeans, and a wooden staff.

I recognize him immediately, "Jack Frost from 'Rise of the Guardians'!"

"Yeah, you're pretty good at this...okay, one more."

He walks out with dark brown hair, a white t-shirt under a denim jacket and jeans, "Can you guess who I am now?"

I bite my lip, a rugged, but contemporary look, "I don't know...that guy from that band…?"

He chuckles, flashing a cute smile, "Yeah, they sort of are interchangeable, aren't they? It was kind of a trick question, this is just my generic band member outfit. Works great on pre-teens, I also have a generic YouTuber outfit."

"Do you also have a generic bad boy outfit?" I ask.

His smile instantly fades, "No...no, no, Bad Boys are a whole nother thing I...I don't associate with them."

I raise an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"You mean you don't know?"

I cross my arms, "I can't know. We need to explain this concept to the audience, so now's your chance to give some exposition."

He sighs, "I see, well, every girl has their own Bad Boy...it's sort of like having a doppleganger, only they don't look like you and they're romantically attracted to you in one way or another. Every Bad Boy is different, usually tailored to compliment their girl."

"It sounds like you're describing an army of robots instead of a group of people," I observe.

"Look, for the few guys in Wattpad High that aren't Bad Boys...they make us very uncomfortable. If you ever meet one you'll understand why. Now...I need to start getting ready for my date with Sue so…" he starts pushing me toward the door, "catch you later, mkay?"

As soon as I'm out the doorway, he slams it on me. Weird...well, at least now I have a fair scope on his personality. Although I should ask Mary and Sue about the whole Bad Boy thing, but then again, I've read enough Teen Fictions with 'Bad Boy' in the title to know what I'm dealing with. Also, do guys get some equivalent to Bad Boys? Do guys interested in guys get a Bad Boy? Do girls who only like girls still get a Bad Boy? The idea just brings up so many questions...


	4. Set Up

Chapter 4

I open the door to my dorm to find Sue completely transformed. Her mousey brown hair is curled and tousled, with a decorative purple daisy in her hair. A little eyeliner and lip gloss make her simple, standardized features pop. That coupled with a purple summer dress and beige sandal flats, gives her a sweet, simple look.

"What do you think? I do good work, don't I?" Mary asks, stepping to the side to examine her cousin.

Sue looks down at the dress, and pulls down the bottom, "Don't...don't you think it shows too much leg?"

Mary blows a raspberry, tossing off her hand, "Girl, there's no such thing as showing too much leg. Trust me, I know."

"So Tando, what did you pick up from Erik?" Sue asks, before giving a nervous smile.

"Well, I saw his dorm, and to be honest...it looks like a women's department store. There's even a giant separate room just dedicated for storing clothes," I explain.

Sue presses her slender finger against her lips, "So…?"

"So he's into fashion," I elaborate, "it could be a point of conversation you could bring up."

"But...I don't know anything about fashion," Sue protests.

"You don't know anything Sue, it's part of what makes you relatable," Mary points out.

Her eyes widen, "Huh?"

I slap my forehead, "Moving on...he described himself as a character actor because of all the roles he inhabits, maybe you could talk about popular Fanfiction characters? Or maybe acting?"

Sue sighs, "I-I don't know anything about those things either."

Infuriated, Mary leaps up onto her bed, "Look, none of your relationships are going to last if you remain this uninformed, shy, bland ditz! We have freaking Google and Wikipedia for crying out loud!"

"Well, we can't all know everything like you Mary," Sue snaps back.

"I do know everything! I can do _everything_! And yet, you can't do a damn thing! How are you suppose to get guys like that?!" she shouts.

Sue puts her hands on her hips, "Well, I don't see any guys knocking down your door."

Mary's eyes widen, her fists clenching, "You stupid little-"

Their conversation is interrupted by a knock at the door. Mary jumps off of her bed and looks over to Sue, who hides her head in her hands. Rolling her eyes, Mary answers the door.

"Yeah?"

On the other side is Erik, now dressed in a black blazer and white shirt, with black skinny jeans, dress shoes, and side-swept brown hair.

Sue peeks out from her hands, "Hi…"

"Hey Sue," Erik greets, pushing past Mary to meet her, "you look beautiful."

Sue blushes, her cheeks turning a rosy pink. Mary raises her hand, "Yeah, well, I picked out her clothes, and did her makeup, and styled her hair, and made her clothes from freaking scratch-"

Ignoring her, Erik takes Sue's hand, "So, shall we be off?"

She nods, and the two of them slowly walk out of the dorm. Mary stares at the doorway, her mouth dropped open and her shoulders slumped forward. With Mary completely immobilized, I walk over and close the door, before sitting down to continue working.

"That...that bitch…" Mary whispers.

I keep my eyes focused on my computer screen. I think I'll stay out of this one…

I glance to my right and notice a sticky note on my desk that wasn't there before. Did Mary or Sue put this on here while I was gone? I pull it off of the desk to look at it.

 _Wattpad Cafe Club_

 _That's where Erik's taking Sue_

 _Have fun :)_

"Hey, did Sue write this?" I ask Mary, raising up the note.

She leans down to look at it, "No...that's not Sue's handwriting. But hey, if that's where Erik and Sue are heading, we should totally go too."

"What, you mean like...stalk them?"

Mary places her hands on her hips, "Well, the audience can't witness their date unless you're present in it...first person perspective after all. Also, after how much of a bitch Sue was to me after I helped her, well...I wouldn't mind messing up her date. Just a little bit."

I sigh, "Alright," but just as we step out the door I remember something.

"Hey Mary, during my conversation with Erik, he mentioned Bad Boys, but he got weirded out before he said much else. What's that all about?"

She raises an eyebrow, "What, you mean you don't have a Bad Boy?"

I shake my head, "No…"

"Ha! Of course out of everyone _you_ don't have a Bad Boy. Actually, come to think of it, I don't think I've ever met a girl without a Bad Boy. That's like...super weird."

I grimace, I know I don't have a Bad Boy, but did she have be so rude about it?

We leave the dorm, where the sun has begun to set, casting a golden glow over the trees and grass in the courtyard.

Mary steps to the streets corner, the heels on her leather ankle boots clacking on the concrete, "Speaking of Bad Boys…"

She whistles, and a motorcycle engine can be heard in the distance. In the reflection of the setting sun, a muscled man riding a black and red motorcycle rises up over the horizon. He zooms forward, coming to a stop right in front of Mary and I.

He looks like a greaser from the 1950s, with black hair gelled up in a pompadour, tanned skin, black sunglasses, black leather jacket over a greasy white shirt, a cowboy belt, blue jeans, and biker boots. His mouth is hung slightly ajar, his expression hidden by his tinted sunglasses. As far as Bad Boys go, he's...a little retro, but about what I expected.

"Hey babe, could you give me and my friend a ride to the Wattpad Cafe Club?" Mary asks.

He nods, "Uhuh."

"Thanks babe," she giggles, getting on the back, and gesturing for me to do so as well.

He nods again, his face and body almost completely unmoving, "...uhuh."

I hesitate, it isn't usually wise for more than two people to ride a motorcycle. Mary frowns, "C'mon, live a little!"

I roll my eyes, before hopping on the back. Luckily, Mary is so thin she hardly takes up any space on the seat, leaving enough room for me to fit.

"So, I take it this is your Bad Boy?" I presume, as he starts revving up his motorcycle.

She nods, "Yeah, if there's one thing consistent throughout all Bad Boys, it's that they're very loyal. I mean, I'm not even dating...uhm..." she slaps his back, "...whatever this guy's name is, but he's there when I need him, you know?"

"Call me jealous, but I kind of want one of these Bad Boys," I confess, chuckling.

"I'm sure you do, I've never met a girl without one, but to be honest, knowing you...he probably sucks."

I roll my eyes, "Gosh, thanks."


	5. Pay Off

The Wattpad Cafe Club is a warm open coffeehouse reminiscent of a Starbucks. There's an electronic, artificial fireplace, with individual tables as well as single couch chairs. The smell of coffee beans is a permanent presence as the cafe is abuzz with customers. From the window, Mary and I spot Sue and Erik sitting at one of the individual tables ordering. A friendly waitress in a brown apron walks up to their table.

"Two lattes please," Erik tells the smiling waitress.

She writes it on her pad and nods before walking away. Mary rolls her eyes, "Ugh, she's so basic. If

she were a girl with any kind of personality she would have at least ordered a salad."

"Wouldn't a basic girl order a salad? And come to the date wearing Ugg boots and leggings?" I counter.

"...true."

"Wow...your orbs are so beautiful," Erik compliments, looking into Sue's eyes.

Mary rolls her eyes, "Oh, of course he compliments her orbs, how freaking typical! Her 'orbs', what's so goddamn special about them anyway?"

"It sounds like you're speaking from experience," I observe, "anything I should know about? Also...calling eyes 'orbs' is stupid."

She sighs, "Fine. I dated Erik once-upon-a-time."

" _And_ now you want to get him back now that he's dating Sue," I conclude.

"Yes, but hey, revenge is best served sweet. And of course, he made the mistake of dumping a girl with omnipotent powers!" Mary snaps her fingers.

As the waitress comes back with two lattes, her hand begins to shake and, he hand snaps downward, spilling almost all of the latte on Sue.

"Ha! Take that! That milk stain is going to be there all night! Your pretty boy isn't going to want to kiss you when your dress smells like a stale cheesecake!"

Inside the cafe, Sue gets up, trying to wipe off the latte off of her dress. Erik gets up as well,

grabbing a bunch of napkins from the nearby dispenser. He gets down on his knees and starts wiping up her dress. Embarrassed, the waitress sets down the other latte and scurries away.

Sue smiles, "Wow...thanks Eric."

Mary clenches his fist, "Okay, so that wasn't as destructive as I'd hoped. But then again, I can be mischievous, but not too much so that I'm considered evil because, you know, gotta stay relatable. So what's next?"

The waitress comes back with a replacement latte and a plate of garlic fries, "I'm so sorry...I don't know what happened. Here's something for free for your troubles...on the house."

She sets down the items and walks away. Sue and Erik start eating, but while they're both distracted, Mary waves her hand and Sue's fries begin to float in the air. The fries realign themselves, pointing toward Erik. They shoot at him, knocking him in the face.

"Owe..." Erik wipes off the french fry grease and bits of salt.

Sue looks up, "Huh?"

He looks up at her, bewildered. He suddenly smirks. Picking up a fry off of the plate, he tosses it at her. She picks up another fry and launches it at him, the fry bouncing off of his cheek. They both laugh, before smiling and resuming their eating.

Mary buries her face in her hands, "I give up. They're inseparable. I didn't even want to ruin them as a couple, I just wanted to ruin their date...what's wrong with me? I can't even do that? I'm supposed to be able to do _everything_."

Just then, Erik puts down his latte to hold his stomach and start coughing. His coughing increases rapidly, and he stands up and clutches the edge of the booth with his other hand.

"Erik...are you okay?" Sue asks, although convincingly worried, her voice and facial expression still emotes very little emotion.

"Yeah...yeah...I-...I just need to...use the rest-...room."

Erik rushes to the back door, leaving it swinging behind him. Sue sits back down, playing with the sugar dispenser to the side of the table with both a level of paranoid and absentmindedness. Just then, the waitress who served them comes up to her.

"Hey, is he alright?" she asks Sue.

Sue shrugs, remaining silent. The waitress's smile suddenly becomes sickeningly sweet. She throws down her tray and pulls off her brunette wig, revealing to be Sue's roommate and Erik's exe: Barbie.

"Surprise?" she giggles, before sitting down in Erik's seat across from her.

From the window, Mary and I turn to each other, so, Barbie did Mary's job for her? Convenient, but where was she going with this? Why target her exe and not his new girl?

From inside the cafe, Barbie flexes her hands and rests her chin on them, "Alright, I get it, Erik's cute. I mean, he's the perfect package right? Sweet, compliant, courteous, and if you don't like how he looks, you could just go into that shopping mall of a dorm he has and redress him like a Ken doll, am I right?"

Sue shrugs, looking down.

"But, a guy like that can be hard to control. Erik knows he's desirable, he could get anyone he wants. He's not going to be tied down for long, especially with someone as...inexperienced as you. He needs someone who can keep him in line."

Sue's expression remains unchanged, as she slumps in her chair and nods to Barbie.

"I'll be doing you a favor by taking him off of your hands. I mean, he's going to dump you anyway, he never sticks with most girls for long. So I suggest that after he comes back from chucking up the expired laxatives I put in his latte, you politely excuse yourself from this little failed date, mkay?"

Barbie rests her arm on the table while Sue looks down. I turn to Mary.

"Oh my god, she's actually going to do it, isn't she?" I realize aloud.

"She's always been a follower, never taking initiative for herself. It's femininely ideal, at least for her, and guys love it," Mary explains.

I raise an eyebrow, "But, wouldn't that be seen as highly regressive?"

Mary's eyes shift to the side, as she thinks out her response, "Eh...not really. As long as she gets the guy, the ends will always justify the means."

I shudder, "Whatever you say."

Barbie gets up and leaves, with Sue still sitting at the booth. She looks down at her lap as Erik stumbles back from the bathroom.

"Hey...I...I am so...so sorry about that. I don't usually get sick like that I just...I don't know what came over me."

"Ma-...maybe you should go home," Sue suggests.

Erik shakes his head off, "No, no, I don't want to waste your time. We were having such a good time and-"

"No," Sue interrupts, "if you're feeling sick, you won't have a good time regardless. You should go home and get some rest."

Mary leans her head back as Sue wraps her arm around Erik and leads him out of the diner, "Wow...she handled that pretty well."

"As far as a date that was being attacked by two different people, that wasn't too bad," I comment.

We get up and sneak around back as Erik and Sue get into Erik's modestly expensive car that comes from a distinctive brand.

They drive off, leaving Mary and I crouched by the cafe. As soon as they're gone, Mary sighs and walks out to the edge of the road. She whistles, and her Bad Boy zooms up in his motorcycle. She smiles, getting on and gesturing for me to do so as well. But just as I'm about to get on Mary's Bad Boy stops me. He turns to Mary.

"Uhuh."

She frowns, "Hey Tando, babe wants a private talk. Can you maybe, take the bus home? So sorry."

Before I can respond, the motorcycle zips off, leaving me on my own.

There's no bus in this town...

I sigh, and prepare to make the long walk back to the school. Well, at least the scenery is nice. The trees are just starting to turn to autumn colors, specks of yellow and orange dotted along the grove of trees surrounding the road. Green and brown leaves are scattered like a carpet on the road and sidewalk, getting swept up whenever a car passes by.

Just as the cafe's out of sight, there's a rustling in the bushes behind me. I turn around, but no one's there. Is it that guy I saw looking into my window? Or the mysterious footsteps I heard behind me when walking to Eric's dorm? But who would want to follow me? Who'd stalk me all the way out here past the school?

I turn back around again, but the moment I do the bushes come alive with more rustling. Okay, there's either a hyper-aware animal in that bushes, or a person. I turn around, and slowly start walking toward the collection of bushes. They stop rushing as soon as I lay eyes on them, but that doesn't stop me from continuing to approach the bushes. I peer into the bushes and discover that it's completely deserted, with no one in or near it.

"Hi."

I whip around to see a guy in all black clothing, with black eyeliner and blonde hair. It's the guy who was staring into my window!

"Who...who are you?" I ask, backing up. His sudden introduction surprised me to say the least.

He looks up, surprised, "Oh...you don't know?"

He scratches the back of his head, his expression becoming slightly goofy, "Well, I mean of course you don't know, we've only just met and all...I'm your Bad Boy."

"...what?"


	6. Introducing a New Character

Chapter 6

So wait, instead of a daring, stylish greaser with a motorcycle I got...a goth from 2004?

"Well...what do you think?" he asks, holding his arms out.

"Definitely...wasn't expecting this..." I admit.

He slaps his arms down, "Sorry I disappointed you."

Getting a closer look at him...it could be worse. A black shirt under an equally black jacket, black skinny jeans, and black Vans. His makeup isn't too intrusive, a generous helping of black eyeliner with a black cross tattooed on the side of his left eye, along with black nail polish. To top it off, a large cross necklace and a ring for each hand, a look that any twelve year old girl would drool over, but would be totally over by thirteen.

I shake my head, "No, no...I just...didn't really know what to expect. For a while I thought I didn't even have a Bad Boy."

He chuckles, "Well, of course everyone has one, silly. You're so cute..."

He stops himself, as I stare at him, dumbfounded.

"Uhm...okay...so...what's your name?"

He runs his hand through his hair and gives a smolder, as if he's prepared for this moment, "DarkSkye NightDemon."

I try not to laugh at his name, although, it is a little long-winded to say the least, "How about for brevity's sake I call you Skye?"

"...uhm...okay...sure," he shrugs, his pale green eyes wandering.

"So...you're the one who's been following me? And the one who sent the note?"

He nods his head in a cutesy, earnest manner, "Yep."

My eyes widen at how unabashedly willing he is to admit that.

"So...how did you know you're my Bad Boy?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Oh!" he reaches into the pocket of his black skinny jeans and pulls out a small paper card with my name on it, "We're all given this card upon exit from the factory."

"...the what?"

He stuffs the card back into his pocket, "So...where you headed?"

I shrug, "Just back to my dorm. I go to Wattpad High-"

"I know," he chuckles giddily, keeping his hands in his pockets.

"Okay...well...it was nice meeting you Skye...I guess I'll see you later-"

"Oh no! I'm heading that way as well," he interrupts, running up to me.

Skye scutters up so that he's only inches away from me. He's about five inches taller than me, although, at a very short five feet, he's pretty short by male standards. I must make him feel tall.

I raise my eyebrow, "If I told you I was heading to Canada, would you tell me you were going there as well?"

His eyes glance around, combined with a guilty expression, "No...not...really...okay, maybe…"

I sigh, "Fine, just, c'mon. It's getting dark."

As we start walking, I can't seem to keep my eyes off of him. While yes, I have met him, there's still so many questions, and also...he is pretty cute.

"How old are you?" I ask, keeping conversation.

Skye looks up at the bright sunset, "Hmm...I'm not sure, why do you ask?"

"Because, you look twenty," I explain, my tone matter-of-fact.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have based me off of a thirty year old actor," he counters, leaning his head in close to mine.

"I did not base you off of a thirty year old actor!"

He raises his eyebrows, "Oh really? Well, the picture above begs to differ."

I slump my shoulders, "Fine...the next picture of you will be of Matthew Mcconaughey."

"No, no, I like this look, but you did choose a character from a relatively unknown indie film. You're going to run out of pictures fast," he warns, "use your eye candy sparingly."

I chuckle, "Alright, I will."

Smiling, Skye bumps up against me, nudging his side into mine, like he's instigating a game of bumper cars. I bump back, leaning my head so that it hits against his shoulder. He bumps me again, but this time he grabs my hand.

He smiles, holding our hands up, "Oldest romance trick in the book."

I pull my hand away, but he tightens his grip, clasping his hand to mine.

"Look...you seem sweet, but, I just don't feel ready for a relationship," I confess, finally wrenching my hand away from his.

He stops, a melancholy frown sliding across his lips, "But...you're already thirteen, isn't that old enough for a relationship?"

"Despite what fiction tells you, most thirteen year olds don't feel ready for a relationship," I counter, "especially not with a guy who looks twenty."

I keep walking, but Skye still keeps up walking beside me.

We're almost at Wattpad High, about half a block away from the female dorms, just in view is Mary and her Bad Boy, the two of them arguing by his motorcycle.

"You see them?" Skye asks, pointing to Mary and her Bad Boy.

I stop at the street corner, before slowly nodding.

"Bad Boys are designed to be love interests to their assigned girl. It's literally our sole purpose. Mary's Bad Boy? He'll do anything for her, but she'll never acknowledge him. He doesn't care though, he'll stay by her side regardless."

I turn to him, "...and you?"

Skye gives a nonchalant shrug, "Whatever you need me for, I'm here."

Not sure how to respond, I give him a friendly slap on the arm, "Thanks…"

I turn around and walk the rest of the way to the female dormitory. As soon as I make it to the dorm, I find Mary and Sue huddled around Mary's bed, Mary sitting on the top, and Sue curled up in a ball leaning against it.

"So, how did your private chat with your Bad Boy go?" I ask Mary, sitting down at my desk.

She sighs, "He wants me to 'spend more time with him', typical Bad Boy stuff, as much as they try to be cool and edgy, they are the most emotional little things."

I glance over by the window, and notice an open windowsill, with a dead rose sitting on the edge. I get up, and pick up the rose, "Oh, I know exactly what you mean."


	7. Situational Comedy

Chapter 7

"No way...you do have a Bad Boy!" Mary realizes, getting off of her bed.

I chuckle, clutching the dead rose in my hand, "Yeah...sort of just found out."

"Oh...so that's who that was," Sue mumbles from behind her sweatshirt.

"What, you saw him, and you didn't tell me?!" Mary shouts at her cousin.

Sue nods, "Yeah, there was this goth guy who climbed up to the window on a ladder, cracked it open with a crowbar, and carefully placed the rose on the windowsill."

"And how did you notice this and not me?!"

She giggles, "...plot convenience."

"Well anyway, what's he like?" Mary asks, sitting back down on the bed.

I shrug, "I only just met him. He's goth but, he doesn't have that stereotypical goth attitude. He's actually...pretty energetic."

"So he's scene?" Mary clarifies, "You know, goth but they mix in colorful hair, t-shirts, and accessories and listen to Blood on the Dance Floor."

I shake my head, "No, besides having three of those little pins you get from Hot Topic on his jacket, this guy was all black, straight from 2004...goth. He has blonde hair...but I think it's natural."

Mary laughs, "Ha...a blonde goth? I knew your Bad Boy would suck."

I close the window, "Well, I need to finish my self-introduction for tomorrow's class, so can we keep plot movement to a minimum for the rest of the night? Don't you guys have any writing to get done as well?"

Mary tosses her perfectly tousled hair, "I've already finished my latest book, and it's on the Wattpad Hot List. Wanna read some?"

"The Wattpad Hot List?" I'm curious as to what kind of brilliance would make it onto the Wattpad Hot List in less than one day, so I bite, "Alright, send me a link."

She whips out her phone and quickly taps something out on it, and before I know it, a message pops up on my phone, I open it, and read what it entails.

* * *

 _I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock, and I get up to get ready for school. I put on my school uniform_ _and head out._

 _When I'm at school, the first thing I see is the school vice president, Jeff. He's dated the entire cheerleading squad, but I'm determined to be the one to change him._

" _Hey Jeff."_

" _Hey Zoe."_

" _Whatcha doing after school?"_

" _Not much, just hanging with the guys. Wanna come along?"_

 _I smile, "Sure."_

* * *

The message ends there, and I stare at the text...absolutely dumbfounded.

"Brilliant, isn't it? Ha, I'm a genius," Mary laughs, jumping up and down on her bed.

"...where do I even begin?" I flip on my critic side and begin spewing.

"Waking up in the morning, especially because of an alarm clock, is the most cliched opening _ever._ And I hate that you have to link to a Polyvore instead of...you know, taking time to describe the outfit. Especially since the outfit you put together looks so lazy it could've been done in ten minutes. And let me guess, the plot is about her dating a Bad Boy. I know we all get one, but that doesn't mean that every story should be about one. In conclusion…"

I throw my phone down, "Your story's shit."

"Tell that to my millions of readers," Mary scoffs.

I look up the story on Wattpad, and yeah, her story has already passed the million vote mark. While popularity on Wattpad shouldn't dictate a story's value...I can't help but be jealous.

"Well…fine. Good for you," I grumble, sitting down at my desk.

"What? You expected Odysseus? The Iliad? War and Peace?" she asks, "Face it Tando, shit sells, and it's our jobs as writers to deliver just that."

* * *

I sit down at the first class, Fanfiction. In one of the sleeves of my binder, I take a peek at my full schedule. Teen Fiction, Nonfiction, Fantasy...the class I worry about the most is Poetry. I've never been good at poetry, but it's still a required class.

Well, at least Fanfiction looks like an interesting class. Both Mary and Sue are in this class with me, and I sit in the desk between them.

The teacher is an older man with a balding head, glasses, and a knitted jacket over a wrinkled shirt and tie. He has an authoritative but tired walk as he sets down his suitcase on the desk, "Alright. Welcome to freshmen Fanfiction, my name is Mr. Avery. All you prospective writers who think you can get your little boy band fanfiction and make it into a movie...forget it. Those kinds of things are a one-in-a-million fluke. What you need to understand is that fanfiction is an art that is to be publically shared, without the thought of monetization."

Mary raises her hand, and the teacher points to her, "Question?"

"Yeah, what about Kindle Worlds, the online service that allows you to sell fanfictions from certain properties?"

The teacher scoffs, as if he's offended, "Well, do you write for any of the fandoms they allow? Better yet, have you ever completed a fanfiction that would live up to Amazon's standards? Because if you have, I highly doubt you'd be in this class."

He turns away, and Mary glances over to Sue and I, "Can you believe this guy? I thought Fanfiction was suppose to be the new, modern genre. But for a Fanfiction teacher we get some old hack!"

"Ahem," Mr. Avery gestures his head in our direction, "in case you were wondering what my credentials are, I am a published Fanfiction author. My fanfictions have been published, without names changed, in several Star Trek fanzines. Now, I'm sure you children are too young to remember fanzines, but before the internet, fandoms published various fanzines to share fan art, fanfiction, etc."

Unable to help myself, I raise my hand. Rolling his eyes he calls on me, "Yes?"

"Wasn't most of the fanfiction published in fanzines smutty KirkxSpock stories? Because…" I take out my computer and turn it around to show the screen, "when I search 'Star Trek fanzine' this is one of the first results."

The class explodes into laughter as what shows up on the screen is a picture of a naked Kirk and Spock making out on the cover of a Star Trek fanzine.

"Put your device away!" Mr. Avery demands, "Yes, Fanfiction has always been an outlet for depraved individuals to explore their...nightmarish fantasies, but I can assure you my fanfiction was much more refined."

He waits for the laughter in the classroom to settle down before he continues, "Now, as our first class of the day, we need to go over a little clarification as well as setting some ground rules. First off: the proper use of the word Fanfiction. The word Fanfiction is to be capitalized when referring to the genre, but put in lowercase when referring to a single work or set of works of fanfiction. Now, onto ground rules on your assignments…"

"Hopefully he'll allow for dark fics. I love me a good dark fic," a familiar voice comments.

I turn around and see Skye, sitting behind me. He reaches his hand out and ruffles my hair, "Hello cutie."

"Rule number one, no R-rated content. I will not have a class writing nothing but extreme violence and smut," Mr. Avery announces.

There's a unanimous groan throughout the room as the the students voice their disapproval.

"You'll have plenty of other opportunities to express your violent and sexual fantasies, but not in my class."

Mary chuckles, "Nevermind that, especially without smut, Fanfiction might as well not exist."


	8. Pop Culture References

Chapter 8

Before I know it class lets out, and I'm walking with Mary, Sue, and Skye.

"Lunch time! Let's go to the cafeteria and _not_ eat!" Mary announces, throwing both hands in the air.

"But...lunch is when you're suppose to eat," I argue.

They both turn to me and laugh, "No...we're girls. We'd look totally fat if we were ever caught eating on page."

I glance around, trying to comprehend what they just said, "...what?"

Mary rolls her eyes, "Of course you don't know. Girls must never eat excessively in a story, or else they'll look fat."

"Yeah, and I already look fat," Sue sighs, pulling up her size one jeans.

"Ugh, that's ridiculous!" I protest.

"Says the girl with a butt the size of Mars," Mary spits.

I growl, tightening my shoulders and clenching my fists. I begin stomping toward her, but Skye grabs my arm.

"Hey, c'mon. We have off-campus lunch. I'll show you someplace nice," he offers.

* * *

Skye and I start walking the several blocks toward where the clubs are. A soft breeze whips through the trees as droves of leaves fall to the ground.

"This would be the perfect setting for a romance novel," Skye observes, admiring the scenery.

"I wouldn't be surprised if students' Wattpad Romance stories are inspired by the school itself," I add, smiling.

He chuckles, "Considering the people at Wattpad High, they probably inspire a lot of Wattpad characters too."

I can't help but laugh out loud, "No kidding! What is up with the people anyway? Mary can do everything, while Sue is a complete blank slate, yet people love her anyway."

"In a way, they're the exact same person," Skye argues.

I raise an eyebrow, "Really? How?"

"They're both Mary Sues, just, in their own way. Mary has all the skills in the world, while Sue is loved

unconditionally by everyone. If either of them were to take the Mary Sue Litmus Test, they'd both fail miserably."

"Hmph...true. What about all you Bad Boys?"

He shrugs, "What romance story doesn't have us nowadays? 'Mysterious' guys belonging to some subculture with a brooding demeanor but an emotional core."

I raise both eyebrows, "Wow...you are quite self-aware, aren't you? I'm impressed."

"Remember, I'm your Bad Boy. Whatever specifications that would best fit you, that's what I am," he explains.

"So, what you're saying is...you're my ideal guy?" I ask.

He shrugs, "Pretty much, at least...I hope."

"Well, you're not my dream guy but..." I reach up and ruffle his hair, "you're not bad. I wouldn't mind having you as a friend."

Skye's shoulders slump, "Just a friend?"

I roll my head to the side and raise an eyebrow, "How about we compromise at good friend?"

He frowns, and takes my hand.

I immediately pull away, "No Skye, if you're really my ideal guy you'd respect that I don't want a relationship."

Skye sighs, and shakes his head, "That's...not how it works. Bad Boys are created to be love interests. Being with our assigned girl is basically our purpose for living."

"That sounds like a bleak existence," I observe.

"It can be...but I go to a Bad Boy support group where we work through it."

"A...what?"

Skye puts his hand on my shoulder, before pointing upward, "That's where we're eating."

I look up, before I take note of the small, quaint building. A slightly dulled neon sign reads "Romance" in red cursive.

"It's the Wattpad Romance Club. Pretty cute, right?" he asks.

I raise an eyebrow, "Yeah, but...we're not eating there."

Skye chuckles, "Why not?"

I take one look at him, lowering my eyes and staring him down.

"...okay fine. But where else would you recommend?"

I look away, glancing up the Wattpad Romance Club, "If there's a Wattpad Cafe Club, and a Wattpad Romance Club, then is there a club for every Wattpad forum?"

He nods his head, smiling.

"Then...how about the Wattpad Fanfiction Club?"

His eyes suddenly go wide, before he starts shaking his head, "No, no, no...you don't want to go there."

I put my hands on my hips, "C'mon, I've worked long enough in Fanfiction to have more-or-less seen everything. How bad could it be?"

* * *

The Wattpad Fanfiction Club is a fluorescently lit, greasy, 1950s styled diner. While it appears to be somewhat in disrepair, almost every booth and chair is full. Skye and I get in line to wait for a table, and as we wait a woman goes down the line passing out papers.

"Please read my generic band fanfic! I promise it'll be different, please, please please!"

I glance down at the paper she's passed out, "'Harry Styles falls in love with shy girl'? I think I'll pass."

I hand the paper to Skye, who dumps it in the recycling bin behind him.

"I knew we shouldn't have come here. This place is full of Fanfiction writers desperate to get their work out. It's more like a marketing department than an actual hangout," Skye scoffs.

"Are you kidding me? These are my kind of people! Young, ambitious writers looking to get their creative voice out!" I counter, my tone optimistic.

A crying girl slams herself into the nearby wall, "WAAAH! I'm going to quit writing because my story isn't popular! I did everything that would make it popular, but nothing works!"

She sobs into her hands before marching out the door. I shudder, "Okay, maybe not so much 'creative voice' as 'the need to be noticed'."

"See what I mean?" Skye gives a smug smirk.

We're seated at a window booth toward the front. Skye insists on sitting next to me, rather than in the seat across.

"I take it Bad Boys have no concept of personal space, do they?" I ask.

"Oh, you think I'm blunt? Your friend...Sue? Her Bad Boy is beyond nuts, you have no idea what 'nuts' means until you meet him," he argues.

I pause, "So...are all Bad Boys just kind of...insane?"

"I prefer the term 'unique'," he smiles.

"But, because there's so many Bad Boys, and they all follow a certain formula, how could they be unique?"

Skye falls silent, appearing to almost shrink into himself. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's doing his best Sue impression.

"Hey...uhm...I didn't mean it like that I-"

Just then, a girl walks up to us with a piece of paper. Oh no, another writer looking to advertise?

"Hey hey hey, I'm your waiter," a teenager in a plain white v-neck, black leggings, and Ugg boots smiles.

She's not exactly dressed to be a waitress more so than she's dressed for a lazy Monday at school.

"Hi, uhm…" not having had a chance to look at the menu, I quickly glance through it.

Jelsa Jello? Harry Styles' Angel Hair Pasta? Destiel Dessert Special? OC Orange Juice? Luke's Lunch with Secret 5Sauce? Nothing on here sounds rather appetizing…

"No way, Tando, they have Harry Potter foods!" Skye points to a particular item on the menu.

"Well, while they are mostly dessert items, I think we could get away with having pumpkin pasties for lunch," I reason.

He turns to the waitress, "Two Pumpkin Pasties and a side of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, please."

She rolls her eyes, "Harry Potter is like, so 2011. Ugh, god, why can't old people stay in the know?"

She walks off, leaving Skye and I sitting silently at our table.

Skye turns to me and smiles, "Ugh, kids today, am I right?"

I place my hand on my hips, "She might have been two years younger than me."

"In internet time, that's forever, isn't it? And besides, I'm the old man here. Based off of a thirty year old actor, remember? Plus, I'm part of an equally old subculture," he reminds me, gesturing to himself.

I shake my head, "Goth isn't that old, it's from the 2000s, right?"

"Actually, Goths first became popular during the 1980s," he corrects.

My eyes widen, "Oh my god...that is old."

A girl approaches our table, and sits down in the seat across from us, "Hi, could you answer these questions for me?"

I glance over to Skye, but before I can register his reaction, she dumps a handful of papers onto our table.

"So...which band do you think is better: One Direction, or Five Seconds of Summer?"

Skye assumes a thinking position, "Well, One Direction does have comparatively more music out, and more performance experience, but the stylings of Five Seconds of Summer are more distinctive-"

"No, no, no, no," the girl interrupts, "I don't care about their music, I want to know which band is cuter!"

"Oh, One Direction then, definitely," Skye concludes, nodding his head, and smiling.

As the girl turns to me, I raise an eyebrow, "Honestly, while I've heard their music, I have no idea what the band members look like."

Skye gives a knowing smirk, placing his hand on my shoulder, "Oh Tando, that defeats the whole point of a band. Why listen to their music if they're not attractive?"

His grins grows, before spurts of laughter begin popping out, "Hmph, hmph, ha, ha...just kidding. But seriously...One Direction's cuter."

"Ohmygosh, I love 1D too! They're like...the new Beatles," the waitress fangirls, squealing and waving her arms.

My expression becomes frozen in a shocked stare, and I only have to glance to my side to see Skye sharing my expression. We turn to the girl, before unanimously shouting, "Get the fuck out!"

The girl leaps to her feet, before scampering away.

I grit my teeth, "...I think we might have been too harsh on the kid. She didn't know any better."

"Oh, c'mon. There comes a point where innocence becomes ignorance. I don't care if the Beatles aren't on Spotify, children should be informed about older bands."

I lean back in the seat, "True...the Beatles are on YouTube."

Skye shakes his head, "Oh, who's the old person now? Listening to music on YouTube, pff..."

I scoff, "No, now you're just being a hipster, listening to music on YouTube is still relevant, just ask VEVO."

The waitress comes back with our pumpkin pasties and Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans. Opening up the pastry with my fork, I discover that pumpkin pasties are just pumpkin pies, looks like I'm getting away with having dessert for lunch.

"Ha, you know these Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans are authentic, they're spelled 'Flavour' on the box," Skye points to the castle-shaped box the beans come in.

He takes two beans out of the box, and hands one to me. He raises his bean up, "To being old!"

I chuckle, before raising mine, "To being old."

We pop the beans in our mouth, and I immediately spit mine out, "Oh god...I got soap."

Skye smiles as he continues chewing his, "Chocolate...my favorite."

"You lucky bastard…" I grumble.


	9. Will They, Won't They?

Chapter 9

I return to my dorm after my final class. First day of school hadn't gone so bad, pretty good, actually. Mary sits on her bed, staring at her computer.

"So...how did your date with your Bad Boy go?" she asks.

"It wasn't a date," I correct her.

She shakes her head, "Oh no...it was a date. So, do you love him yet?"

"I haven't even known him for a day!"

Mary rolls her eyes, "Girl...that date lasted three pages. If a three page long date isn't going to make you love him, I don't know what will."

"Look, he's cool but, I don't know if I want to date him, or anybody really," I confess.

"Well, make up your mind quickly, nothing's more scary than a Bad Boy who finds out that he's been led on," she warns.

I pause, "But wait...what about your Bad Boy? You certainly lead him around, making him drive you places and not even knowing his name."

She sits up, "He and I have an understanding, favors for me, equals time with me. And that's all a Bad Boy really wants. Is to spend every waking minute with their girl. It's kind of sad, really."

"So...you exploit him?"

"Hey, it's not exploitation if he wants it," she defends, "although, of course, they're always going to want more time."

I glance around the room, noticing a certain someone missing from the group, "Hey, where's Sue? Did she finally work out that dorm situation with Barbie?"

"No, Barbie's out getting knocked up, so Sue's got the room to herself for once. She's probably ogling over her new boyfriend, Erik," Mary assumes, rolling her eyes.

"You know...if you're so jealous of Sue's boyfriend, why don't you just get one yourself?" I ask.

"I am not jealous!" she snaps, lifting herself off of the bed, "I'd just like to know how someone like Sue could bag a guy so quickly! What's her secret? Maybe...maybe she put pheromones in her perfume!"

I raise an eyebrow, "That sounds more like something you'd do."

"Ugh, you're right," she grumbles, flopping back down onto her bed, "Sue doesn't even have to wear perfume. Her skin produces enough pheromones on its own."

My brow furrows, hopefully that was just a joke. But somehow, I have a feeling it wasn't.

"But seriously, why not get your own boyfriend? You could date your Bad Boy, he'd want that, right?"

Mary nods, "Yeah, he would. But what's the point in dating a love-sick Bad Boy? Where's the challenge? Where's the conquest?"

I chuckle, "A romance shouldn't be about conquest. It's about getting to know someone that you like."

She shakes her head, "No, no, no, a romance should build suspense of 'will they, won't they', it should be drawn out, and when satisfaction finally arrives, the details should be... _explicit_. You know, like you and your Bad Boy."

"Wha-what?"

"Yeah, it's an established formula. You put him off for a handful of chapters before eventually giving in and dating him. Then things get super lovey-dovey and it'll culminate in a super, super explicit sex scene!" Mary declares.

I jump out of my seat, "No sex scene! Never, ever, ever, not in a million years!"

She smirks, "Watch, it'll happen. Either that or he'll kidnap you, standard Bad Boy fare. Sue's Bad Boy does it all the time."

"...what?"

* * *

I close the window as Mary and I settle into bed for the night. An animalistic howling sounds in the distance, and I look up to see the shadows of bats fluttering against the full moon.

"Oh, looks like the supernatural guys are out," Mary mumbles, now dressed in a silk nightie and lingerie much more suited for an adult than a thirteen year old girl.

"The what?" I ask, continuing to look out the window.

She sighs, "More exposition. You know how Wattpad has the Vampire and Werewolf genres?"

I nod my head, "Yeah...wait...Wattpad High has Vampires and Werewolves?"

"Pretty much. They're usually only up at night, although you might catch one or two during the day-"

"Hold on," I interrupt, "Vampires can't go out during the day. They'll get killed by sunlight."

Mary shakes her head, "Nope. We don't have the old 'death by sunlight' Vampires, we have the 'sparkle in the sunlight' Vampires."

"...Ew."

"I know right? Vampires are so 2012, it's all about Werewolves now. Especially the whole Alpha, Beta thing, it takes the whole 'Bad Boy and Shy Girl' trope to a new level. No one's made a bit-hit romance saga about them yet, but it's coming. Just watch."

Yawning, Mary leaps into her bed, rolling the blankets over herself, "Well, I'm going to get some beauty sleep...not that I need any, just, you know, got to keep some semblance of humanity."

"Right…" I nod my head, unconvinced.

Sitting down on the bed, I stare up at the ceiling, watching shadows pass along a casted moonlight reflection of the window. Hang on...there isn't anything in front of the window. So why are there shadows darting back and forth?

I sit up in my bed, to find Skye peeking his head out the window, wielding a long, gray crowbar in one hand.

He turns to me, and his shocked expression morphs into a guilty smile, "...hi."

I stomp over to the window and grab the top with both hands to slam it shut.

"No, no, wait!" he pleads in a shouted whisper.

"What?!"

He pauses, looking down before glancing back up again, "...did I do a good job?"

I stare him down, astonished, "Of what?"

"Breaking into your room. I mean, it's only natural that after the first meeting I start sneaking in on a regular basis," he explains.

"Natural?! Skye...breaking and entering is not only illegal, it's also really, really creepy!"

"Oh…" he slumps his shoulders down and sighs, "It...it's suppose to be romantic. That's what they said in Bad Boy 101."

I shake my head, "No...Skye, this is not how relationships are started, it's how restraining orders are created."

"Well, if sneaking into your room in the dead of night won't impress you, what will?" he asks.

I shrug, "I don't know...being a good person? Having common interests, being able to communicate-"

"My god, you're _so_ boring!" Mary shouts from her bed.

Skye looks me in the eye, and reaches his hand over to brush my cheek, "I think you're perfect-"

"Okay, gonna stop you right there!" I push his hand away, "Skye, you do have other interests outside of...well, me, right?"

He nods his head, "Well, sure. I write poetry about you, play songs about you, paint pictures...of...you...I'm really not helping my case here, am I?"

I scoot backwards, placing my hand on the window, "Alright, well...uhm...nice...seeing you, I guess? But, uhm, I need to get some sleep now so...bye!"

I slam the window shut, but Skye's hand stops it just in time, causing me to smash his hand under the window.

"Owwe!" he cries from the other side, as I lift the window back open.

"I'm so sorry! I just...I...got weirded out by what you were saying and...rushed to close the window."

Skye looks up at his hand, now puffy and red, "It...it's fine. Just...uhm...there's one small problem."

I look up at him, "What?"

He turns around and looks over the edge of the roof, "...I have no idea how I got up here."


	10. How to be a Bad Boy

Chapter 10

I wake up to the sound of a jingling, old-fashioned alarm clock sitting on my nightstand. Rising out of my bed, I look over at the jangling alarm clock.

"When did I ever have an old alarm clock?" I ask aloud.

From her bed, Mary raises up her own alarm clock, "Universally issued to every Wattpad High student. Have fun waking up to this every morning."

I roll my eyes, "No thanks."

I grab my still ringing alarm clock and throw it down onto the ground, the gears jumping out as a spring pops free from inside the clock.

"C'mon, we have to get ready for school," Mary grumbles, rolling out of bed.

She stands in front of her full-length mirror next to her closet, "Hmm...what should I wear today? I've been thinking about getting red highlights. You know what, what the hell?"

All of a sudden, the ends of Mary's perfectly tousled hair become a bright scarlet red.

Flipping her hair back while checking herself in the mirror, she smiles, "Nice. Alright, makeup time. I'm gonna go with a smokey look today. The usual foundation, contouring of course. Now, a thick black eyeliner, a light layer of black eyeshadow, oh! How about a little glitter."

"Do you really have to narrate your entire morning routine?" I complain from my bed.

Mary turns around, revealing to have on everything she described in the mirror, "Well, no duh, I have to. That's how everyone gets dressed. Come here, I'll show you."

Getting out of bed, I walk over to Mary's mirror, and stare into it intently as Mary continues, "Alright, now I need a generous helping of mascara-"

Her eyelashes are automatically extended as the mascara is applied to her eyes. My eyes are wide with shock, yes, a character describing themselves in a mirror is cliché as hell, but actually putting stuff on by describing it in the mirror? I don't know if that's utterly scary, or utterly genius.

"Go on, try it," Mary offers, stepping aside.

I walk in front of the mirror, unsure if this will actually work. Mary is omnipotent after all, maybe it only works for her.

"Uhm...my mom never let me wear liquid eyeliner. How about that?"

Suddenly, both my eyes have a gentle layer of eyeliner around them, just as I'd imagined. It's not smudged or crooked like it would be had I done it myself, it's perfect, like a professional job.

"Wow...no wonder you look so good," I realize.

Mary snickers, "No silly, I naturally look this perfect. Makeup just...helps."

She snaps her fingers, "Hey, I got you your own mirror, now go get changed."

I turn around to see a white, full-length mirror by my bedside. How did that...you know what, I'm not even going to question it.

Getting in front of the mirror, I start imagining what I could ask the mirror for. My automatic thoughts go to things I wear normally, t-shirts, jeans, sneakers, but this is a magical mirror that allows me to wear whatever I want, why not go a little nuts?

"Uhm...okay...how about...clown makeup!"

I become fully covered in brightly colored face paint, and I can't help but laugh, "Wow...okay, nevermind."

The clown makeup disappears, and I'm left with my normal, slightly pimply face, "Alright, time to get serious. How about...a basic, trendy, contemporary look?"

My sleepwear is replaced by a loose, thin white blouse with pockets in the front, blue skinny jeans, and brown flats.

"Hmm...pretty much what I imagined. This is going out of vogue in a couple of years, such a shame," I comment, admiring myself in the mirror.

"Hurry up!" Mary shouts as she heads out the door.

* * *

I sit down in my desk for my Romance class. The classroom is lined with pink cut-out hearts, with the Twilight Saga displayed on a table in the corner of the room. A short, perky woman in her twenties steps into the room, with a bright smile and a youthful complexion.

"Hello class, welcome to Romance, I'm your teacher, Ms. Eleanor," she steps to the front of the class.

"We're going to have an awesome year together. For our first day, we're going to go over a valuable Wattpad skill, one that will take your writing in the right direction and boost you into new places...a good profile pic!"

She takes out her iPhone, "While profile pictures can vary from pictures of popular characters and actors, to awesome artwork you stole off of Google search, nothing beats a good selfie. C'mon, everyone try it."

I watch as the rest of the class takes out their own, identical iPhones and raise them up to pose for a selfie. I slowly take my phone out of my pocket, and raise it up in a similar fashion. Okay...hopefully my camera will load in time to take a selfie.

"Uhm...excuse me? You, sitting in the middle of the class," Ms. Eleanor calls out.

The people in front of me turn around, and I put my phone down, "...yes?"

"What kind of phone is that, exactly?"

I look down at my phone, "An Android…"

"And why don't you have an iPhone?" she asks, her hands on her hips.

I shrug, "Why do I need one?"

"Hey look, he still has an iPhone 4!" a girl points to a boy in the corner.

The boy, who, as the rest of the class turns their heads to, turns out to be Skye, puts down his phone and waves to the rest of the class. They continue to stare at him, with a unanimous look of disgust.

He chuckles, "What? ...it was cheap."

* * *

I laugh as Skye and I exit the Romance classroom.

"While I don't expect to get the highest grade in Romance, I have a feeling it's going to be a lot of fun," I speculate.

"Maybe. If Ms. Eleanor doesn't kick you out for...I don't know, suggesting a female protagonist might not have a love interest," Skye replies with a joking smirk.

I laugh again, leaning my head against his arm and laughing into his sweatshirt. He stops, and looks down at me. I respond, looking up at him. Uh oh, did I give him the wrong idea?

He takes my hand, "Would you like to...I don't know, hang out at my dorm? I've clearly...already seen yours...it's only fair you see mine."

I pull my hand away from him, stuffing my hands in my pockets, "Uhm...sure, yeah. We could hang out."

He smiles, clenching his fists together and waving them around, "Yay."

I follow him to the boy's dormitory and walk all the way down to the end of the hall, where he opens a door to reveal all black painted walls and matching black marble floor. A double bed with thin drapes around the bedpost, a gothic vanity cluttered with pictures and makeup, and a plasma screen TV with a gaming set-up combines the ideal bedrooms of a depressed goth, a hipster gamer, and a teenaged prom queen.

"Wow...if Hot Topic designed furniture, their showroom would probably look like this," I observe in awe.

He smiles, his hands behind his back, "I'm glad you like it."

Walking further into the room, I notice the pictures on his vanity. Walking over to them, my eyes widen when I realize that these are all pictures of me. There's an audible *click* coming from somewhere behind me as I approach the vanity.

"Skye...could you please explain these?" I ask, pointing to the pictures.

Leaning against the door, Skye looks over and gasps, "Oh no, I forgot to put those away!"

He starts grabbing the pictures off of the vanity and stowing them away in the nearby shelf, but there's enough of them that I'm able to snatch away a few.

Unbeknownst to him, I flip through the pictures I'd grabbed. Most of them are creeper shots taken while I was walking in the courtyard. One of two of the pictures are...of me sleeping in my dorm. Those must have been from last night, you can even see Skye's window reflection in the picture. Despite the fact that these pictures are super, super creepy, they're very well shot, and on a real camera too.

Turning around, Skye nabs the photos in my hand, "Sorry about that. I'll just...take those from you."

He stuffs the last of the pictures into the drawer, and wheezes a sigh of relief, "Whew…uhm...how about I make you some coffee? Or tea? Whatever you prefer."

"Tea would be nice," I nod.

He moves to a small corner of the dorm, where a kitchen counter, a hot plate, and a couple of black cupboards lie.

I'm tempted to open the drawer where he hid those photos, but honestly, I'd like to forget I ever saw those. So instead, I move on to a tall bookshelf standing next to the vanity. Skye has all the essentials: _Wuthering Heights, Little House on the Prairie, Little Women, Goosebumps_...he still reads _Goosebumps_?

But one shelf of his bookcase is dedicated entirely to thick, encyclopedic red leather bound books. The titles along the spine are the most intriguing thing about them. _Getting Your Girl: How To Impress, How to Avoid a Love Triangle, Kidnapping Protocols…_? What kinds of books are these?

I take out _How to Avoid a Love Triangle_ and open it to a bookmarked page. The book reads like a self-help guide, but with intentions far beyond "help".

 _When faced with a rival, it's important that you let your girl choose...you. This is the time when you make yourself most desirable, for if your girl were to choose the other man (or woman), the consequences may be disasterous._

The page is bookmarked by a small brochure pamphlet. I pick up the brochure, and in bright red block letters, the title reads: _How to Hide a Body: The Bad Boy's Guide to Getting Rid of a Rival._

Opening up the pamphlet, the title doesn't disappoint, as the brochure gives detailed instructions on the disposal of corpses and even how to cover up the evidence. Why would Skye need books like this?

"I brought your tea. I hope you like jasmine-..." Skye stops mid-sentence as he sees me looking through his books.

"I turn around, and show him the pamphlet, as well as the book, "Skye...what's this?"

"Oh...oh that? Those are just my Bad Boy manuals. They're the rules by which every Bad Boy follows," he explains, sitting down and handing me the cup of tea.

"Thanks," I mutter, taking the cup and turning to another bookmarked page. Just as I'm about to take a sip of the tea, I read the title: _Knockout Drugs: How to Make Sure They Still Wake Up._

I immediately stop the movement of the cup, setting it down along with the book, "You know what? I think I'm good for tea…I'll just be...heading back to my dorm now."

I get up and head straight for the door, but when I try it, the door won't budge.

"Uhm...why did you lock the door?"

Skye gets up, "No...wait, don't go."

I turn around, "Then explain why you had those pages bookmarked. ...why do you need those books anyway? Especially since they'll filled with...messed up shit."

He draws closer, "Look, I do need those books, they've been a lot of help in navigating our relationship-"

"Yeah, a lot of help they've been, they're what's been giving you the idea to sneak into my room at night and follow me around like a stalker! What's next...were you going to kidnap me?"

Skye fidgets, looking down at his hands, "...well...yeah, but I would never do anything to hurt you! I just, wanted a chance to get to know you better, away from all of these...distractions."

I slowly start backing toward the door, "Distractions?! Skye, monopolizing someone is not how you get to know them, and besides, why isn't the two of us hanging out here good enough?"

Just then, the door blows open, flying off of its hinges. I brace myself to get hit by the debris, or rather, the door itself, but two arms grab me and tackle me to the ground. Once the dust begins to settle, I start to open my eyes. I'm wrapped in Skye's arms, lying just under his chest. Above him, the collapsed door is balancing on his back, it must have fallen right on top of him.

"Hello lovers!" Mary's overconfident exclamation comes from the doorway, before she realizes, "Hey...where are they?"


	11. Songs in Stories

Chapter 11

Skye raises his hand, "Right here."

Mary navigates around the door with her four inch heels, "Wow...what were you two up to? No wait, let me guess...sex up against the door! Kinky...very Fifty Shades-"

"Could you maybe get the door off of him before speculating?!" I bark from below.

She rolls her eyes, before grabbing the door with one hand and shoving it off of Skye's back, letting it slide to the floor.

But instead of getting off of me to check if his spine is still intact, Skye keeps me pinned to the ground, his arms coiled firmly around me. He leans his head in and nuzzles his nose against my cheek.

"Look...I really appreciate the save, really, that was amazing. But, at the same time, that doesn't mean that boundaries have suddenly been lifted," I inform him.

He looks down at me, frowning, "Oh...yeah, sorry, I kind of got carried away."

"Wait...you were just having sex with Marilyn Manson here, and now you won't even let him give you a hickey? Wow...if you were anymore of a tease, you'd be a J.J. Abrams trailer," Mary comments, crossing her arms.

"We weren't having sex," I pause between every word, emphasizing each one.

"What? No, that can't be," Mary checks her diamond encrusted watch, "you two have known each other for over twenty-four hours! You should be saying your vows by now."

"Uhm...can we come in now?" Sue asks from the unhinged doorway.

"Yikes, I'll bet this place looked like a dump even before Mary knocked the door in," Eric clenches his teeth, standing over Sue.

Getting up, Skye slams his head with a facepalm, "See, Tando? This is what I meant, we're always going to have school, friends, work...all of that interrupting our time together."

"Well, unless you actually become my boyfriend, which seems kind of unlikely at this point, you have no right to demand mandatory time with me," I snap, before marching to the door.

Someone grabs the back of my shirt collar, hoisting me up. I turn around to find it's Mary, holding me just slightly off of the ground.

"Oh no, no, no, you're not getting off that easy. You're not like me or Sue, this Bad Boy right here, might be your one and only shot at romance," she argues.

And now it's my turn to roll my eyes, "'My one and only shot'? That's a middle schooler's excuse to hang on to some douchebag boyfriend."

"You should...at least give him a chance," Sue chimes in, smiling from behind the folds of her sweatshirt.

Eric remains quiet, staring Skye in the eye. Despite the fact that Eric towers over Skye, there's still a sense of intimidation. But, considering Skye's reading material, I don't blame him.

Eric leans over Skye's shoulder, "Hey, sweet guitar rack. You play?"

Skye turns around to the guitar rack stashed behind the television, "Yeah, a little. You?"

"Of course I do. Two instruments that will always woo a girl: the guitar and the piano. Girls never go for the violin or trombone playing types," Eric shrugs.

Skye looks down at me, "Well, I mean, I only play a little…"

I catch his glance. Is he...waiting for my approval? That seems arrogant to assume, but, from the expression on his face, it appears to be what he's implying.

"Well, if you know how to play, why not play something for us? If not, I think Eric's probably dying to steal your thunder," I smirk.

And like that, Skye's expression snaps from shy and insecure to much more confident, "O-of course. I'll get out the acoustic."

Mary folds her arms and shakes her head, "Bad Boys...so eager to please."

Did I just...influence Skye to play the guitar? It was so direct, almost controlling, and I don't know if I like the feeling.

He sits down on the floor along with everyone else, and starts strumming the opening to a familiar song.

" _If we take this bird in, with its broken leg. We could nurse it, she said._ "

He keeps his eyes focused on the strings of his guitar, quickly strumming them with a pick, " _Come inside for, a little lie down with me. If you fall asleep, it wouldn't be the worst thing. But when I wake up, and your makeup's on my shoulder. Would you stay now, and let me hold you-_ "

Eric snatches the guitar from Skye, "Huh...that's weird. Ed Sheeran's awfully mainstream for a goth kid, don't you think?"

Skye narrows his eyes, "Well, Suicide Silence is kind of hard to play on the guitar."

"Yeah, that's true, but at the same time, maybe you could've chosen a song that isn't from 2011?" Mary laughs, taking Eric's side.

Eric grabs Skye's pick, before positioning the guitar to play it, " _We're only getting older baby, and I've been thinking about it lately. Does it ever drive you crazy, just how fast the night changes?_ "

Sue claps her hands, "Oh, I love this song! And you skipped right to the chorus, nice!"

"What is this song?" I ask.

Mary rolls her eyes, " _Night Changes_ by One Direction. God, you're so out of touch."

" _Everything that you've ever dreamed of, disappearing when you wake up. But there's nothing to be afraid of, even when the night changes, it will never change, me and you,_ " Eric strums the final chord, looking up at the rest of us and flashing his signature smile.

Mary and Sue applaud him, as he stands up and takes a bow. Skye scowls at the other boy in the room, before taking back his guitar, "Thank you very much, but you never let me finish."

The chords Skye starts to play are clearly meant for a piano, but I recognize them right away nonetheless.

"Woah, blast from the past Skye, you really are from 2004, aren't you?" I smile, as he starts to sing.

" _This could be the start of something new, it feels so right, to be here with you. Oh..._ "

I join him, " _And now, looking in your eyes, I feel in my heart...the start of something new_."

Mary rolls her eyes, "Can it grandpa, you really think you could woo her with that?"

"Hey, gotta appreciate the classics. And I'd like to see you do better," Skye challenges, handing Mary the guitar.

She smirks, "Can I do better? I could blow both of you boys out of the water. I can strum a guitar without a pick and not even chip one of my professionally painted nails."

" _On a scale from one to ten, I am perfect like I am. I don't need your number, we don't need your number_ ," Mary sings out with a perfect voice that tops the original singer.

I sigh, "Goddammit, I actually like that song."

" _And the stupid magazines, want me to change my everything. It don't even matter, they're not taking my power...I'll show you what a girl is. Cause all of me is perfect. Who cares about a dress size? It's all about what's inside. I'll stand up now, and won't back down. We're breaking through the surface, to show you what a girl is._ "

I get up from sitting on the floor, "Alright, I think I've heard enough of Mary's singing. Skye, do you want some help fixing your door before I leave?"

Eric's eyes widen, "Uhm...girls don't do manual labor. It's practically an unspoken rule-"

"I'd love the help, thanks," Skye smiles, getting up as well.

We walk over to the door, and with one of us on either side we hoist the door up, propping it back in its place.

"Hey Tando, could you run and grab me my screwdriver? It should be in my top nightstand drawer," Skye asks, holding the door steady.

"Sure," I make sure Skye has a hold on the door before running over to his nightstand and opening the top drawer.

The drawer is filled with various construction tools, hammers, nails, a drill...why would he have all of this stuff in a nightstand? I scan through the eclectic collection of construction equipment...hmph, no screwdriver. I guess it is a small item compared to the giant jack saw sitting in the corner, maybe it fell to the bottom. Trying not to cut myself, I dig through the warehouse of tools. I hit the wooden bottom, where I find a dark red screwdriver. There it is!

As I take out the screwdriver, I noticed it's been placed next to a large red button. Clearing away some more of the tools, I find a large label below the button, with yellow and black caution tape: **CRAZY SEX DUNGEON**.

Closing the drawer, I slowly start backing up. Is that some kind of joke?

I approach Skye, and hand him the screwdriver, my hand shaking. He examines my expression, before leaning over to look at the drawer. His face goes cold as he begins to piece together what I saw.

"Skye...what is that button in your drawer?" I ask, as he starts bolting the door back onto its hinges.

"It's...nothing."

I raise an eyebrow, and cross my arms, "Uhm, it's clearly something. It's a big red button labelled 'Crazy Sex Dungeon' sitting at the bottom of your nightstand drawer."

Mary, Sue, and Eric turn toward the two of us, and I come to the realization that I just said that aloud.

"You two...in there...now," Mary demands.

Skye grits his head, lowering his head as he starts to blush, "No, it's not ready yet-"

"So you admit to having a sex dungeon?" I push, raising my voice.

"No...no, it's just...foreshadowing…"

I sigh, "Look, Skye, you're really sweet, but you need help. Now could you finish up that door so I can get out of here?"

He screws on the last hinge, and opens up the door, stepping out of the way for me to leave the room. He immediately turns to Mary, Sue, and Eric, who've been watching all of this unfold with impressive silence.

"All of you, out," he points to the open doorway.

The three slowly start to get up, Mary putting down Skye's guitar, but this isn't fast enough for him, "Out now!"

"Okay, okay...god," Mary rolls her eyes as they hustle out the door.

Eric, the last one to leave, looks down at Skye, before spitting, "Freak."

 **Author's Note:**

 **Songs used:**

" **Little Bird" by Ed Sheeran**

" **Night Changes" by One Direction**

" **Start of Something New" from "High School Musical"**

" **What a Girl Is" from "Liv and Maddie"**


	12. Kidnapping the Love Interest

Chapter 12

I return to my dorm to jump into my bed, smothering my face in my pillow.

"What're you so worked up about? Yeah, Bad Boys are high maintenance, so what?" Mary scoffs, walking into the dorm with Sue and Erik.

Hugging my pillow, I sit up, "I just, don't know what to do. I don't know if he's misguided, just straight crazy, or a little of both."

"Well no duh he's 'misguided', Bad Boys are expected to be a certain way, they're freaking factory creations for crying out loud!" Mary points out, sitting on her bed and crossing her arms and legs.

"...why don't you give him a chance?" Sue suggests, holding Eric's arm.

Even Eric lurches back at her suggestion.

"Sue, are you insane?! I barely know him, and his first impression has not been the best," I counter, throwing my pillow up against the wall, letting it fall back onto my bed.

"Well, he likes you, like, a lot. Why _wouldn't_ you go out with him?"

I blink twice before responding, "...we'd be here all day."

"You have a point Sue, but I have to side with Tando on this one. He's not Miley Cyrus, he doesn't have years of pressure and abuse to excuse his actions. He's a Bad Boy, and Bad Boys are crazy. I know you girls put up with them, but if it weren't for you guys I wouldn't spend a second around them," Eric argues.

Just then, a breeze blows through from the open window. I get up to close it, but looking down, I find another dead rose sitting on the windowsill.

"Oh...a recurring motif. How ordinary," Mary imitates the voice of Lili von Shtupp, as I close the window and dump the rose into the trash can.

"Well, I have to start designing new looks to impersonate Vine stars, it's hard understanding their trends when their videos are only six seconds long. See you," Eric kisses Sue on the forehead before heading out.

"So, how's your doomed-from-the-start relationship with Eric going?" Mary asks, leaning against the wall by her bed.

Sue looks down, putting her sleeve in front of her mouth, "Good. ...why are you so pessimistic about us? Or are you still jealous?"

"Pff...I'm not jealous, I've just seen you in this kind of relationship thousands of times over. Everyone has," she explains, popping a piece of gum into her mouth.

Mary blows a giant bubble before continuing, "How many times as a girl with no personality landed a romance with 'Mr. Perfect'? Time, and time again, but at the same time, what's also been proven over and over? That after you two have your little 'happily ever after', shit doesn't work out. You know how much Fanfiction has been written about Cinderella running away after the marriage? Some of it's been friggin published."

Sue perks her head up, "But in Cinderella II, she's sti-"

"We don't talk about that," Mary interrupts her cousin.

* * *

It's the dead of night, when I'm suddenly awoken by a swift breeze, and no, not swift as in Taylor.

Getting up, I realize that the window's been opened again. Really? We need to get a lock on that, or something. With a groan, I hop out of bed to close it. Looking down at the windowsill, I find no dead rose or Skye precariously perched on the roof. I sigh, he is cute, but that still doesn't excuse his creepy stalker tendencies.

I'm just about to turn around, when in the reflection of the window glass, I make out the face of an extremely pale man with a red Cheshire smile. His eyes and dead, and sunken in, and his hair is black and messy. He grabs my head from behind and slams it into the window.

* * *

I come to in a completely dark room, sitting in a rickety wooden chair. My body is immobile, kept bound to the chair by rope.

Just then, a light flickers on in front of me. Standing in front of me is the boy with pale skin and a stretched grin. He's wearing a blood-stained white hoodie and black pants, traditional serial killer garb. Next to him is Skye, looking just as curious as he is confused.

"Well Skye, go ahead. Do whatever you want to her," the boy gestures to me, his grin unwavering.

I begin shaking my head and struggling to get out of the chair. No, no, no, no, shit, shit, shit!

Skye walks up to me, the dull light casting dark shadows along the contours of his face. He stares me down for several seconds, before putting his hands on my shoulders. No...no, no…

He pulls me into a big bear hug, wrapping his arms around me and smiling, "Squeeze."

...what? I sit in the chair, shocked, as Skye nestles his head onto my shoulder. Looking over Skye's shoulder, I see that even the boy is confused, facepalming and shaking his head.

After about a minute of continuous hugging, Skye lets go, and turns to the boy, "Okay Jeff, you can untie her now."

The boy's name is Jeff? I would've expected something more dramatic like...DarkSkye NightDemon.

"You...could've done anything...and all you did...was give her a hug?!" Jeff cries in frustration.

He shrugs, "Hugs are nice."

Jeff grabs one of my ropes and yanks me onto the floor face-first. Still attached to the chair, my head and knees hit the ground, leaving me in an awkward pyramid formation.

"She has done nothing but reject you! How can you still think she'll love you if she's denied you over and over again?" he argues.

Jeff steps on my back with his foot, "The only way you could have her is if you take her by force!"

With his foot, he kicks me back, my body skidding across the floor.

"No! Don't hurt her!" Skye pleads, running over to me.

Suddenly, all of the lights flicker on, revealing the room to be a orange basement, with rows of metal chairs stacked against one end and a snack table on the other.

"What's going on here?!"


	13. The Bad Boy Support Group

Chapter 13

Several boys stand in the doorway, all cramming their heads in to see what's going on. At the front of the door is a tall, lanky man wearing a black trenchcoat and KISS makeup. Out of the crowd, I make out Mary's Bad Boy among the people squishing their heads in. So wait...those are all Bad Boys?! There are so many!

"Damien!" Skye and Jeff shout, getting to their feet and scooting to block me.

Damien, the tall man in KISS makeup, points with a finger adorned in several rings, "Let me guess, you two kidnapped a girl. Is it Sue again?"

Skye shakes his head, "It's my girl sir, Tando."

"Untie her."

Jeff and Skye get to work removing the ropes from my hands, feet, and everywhere else. Skye takes my hand and helps me stand, although I pull my hand away from his as soon as I'm up.

"I apologize for these boys' behavior. It is...unacceptable," Damien's voice holds a heavy European accent, emphasized by his slowed speech.

Looking around, Damien grabs a muffin from off of the snack table and offers it to me, "Anyway, would you like to join us for the Bad Boys' Support Group? We often have girls visit."

I cautiously take the muffin, while a more rational side of me wants to just immediately leave, I'm intrigued as to what happens at a "Bad Boys' Support Group".

The other Bad Boys start pulling up chairs and arranging them in a circle around the room. Skye pushes through to the front of the line, grabbing two chairs and placing them down next to each other. He sits down in one chair and gestures for me to sit in the other.

Damien stands in front of the circle of chairs and Bad Boys, "Alright, well, looks like Skye here, in his two days of existence has already found his girl. Everyone give him a hand."

The other Bad Boys give a half-hearted clap, as I turn to Skye with the question, "Hang on, you're literally two days old?"  
"Two days _young_ ," he corrects, "Bad Boys are created when a new girl enters a sphere of fiction like Wattpad High. It's sort of like fairies created from a child's wish, but you can't make us go away by simply saying you don't believe in us."

Wow...maybe I should cut him some more slack. He's doing fairly well for someone who's only two days old. But, at the same time…

"Well, you're quite intelligent for an infant. What's your secret, child genius?" I snicker, shaking his arm playfully.

Skye snaps his attention to our physical contact, and realizing my mistake, I immediately draw my arm away. The smile that formed from my touch instantly fades from him, and he sighs.

"They upload the internet into our brains," he explains.

I turn to him, "The entire internet? How are you not Freakazoid?"

He chuckles, and shakes his head, "Not all of it. Only certain parts-"

"Let me guess...Tumblr."

Skye laughs again, "Most of Tumblr, certain parts of YouTube, Wikipedia, Reddit, Wattpad of course...all the pop culture stuff. I could quote Doctor Who by heart, but I can't do a makeup tutorial or make an egg sandwich."

"Alright everyone," Damien quiets us down, as well as a couple other murmuring Bad Boys, "it's time for our weekly updates. Aaron, why don't you start?"

Aaron, Mary's Bad Boy, clears his throat, "...uhuh."

The room is moved to tears, with other Bad Boys crying into each other's shoulders. Skye sniffles, and reaches over to hug me. I let him, mostly out of confusion, but I don't hug him back.

"That...that was beautiful Aaron...thank you. O-okay, next?" Damien asks.

Jeff speaks up, "I've been planning to kidnap Sue again."

There's polite nods and murmurs from the other Bad Boys, as my eyes widen, "Wha-what…?"

Damien raises an eyebrow, "You will go through with the proper requirements this time, correct?"

Jeff blows a raspberry, and leans back in his chair, "Requirements? Pff...I'd never be able to do anything if I went through with requirements-"

"What sort of requirements are there for kidnapping a person?!" I cry, standing up from my chair, "That's just...insane!"

Skye grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit, "A lot of Bad Boys aren't...accepted by their girl. But when they're away from them for long periods of time...it becomes too much for them, and they kidnap them in order to recoup. It's called 'binging'."

"What it is, is kidnapping!" I spit in a shouted whisper.

Damien shoots Jeff a nasty look, "Jeff...you've had trouble with the requirements before. Remember, another strike and you're going to have your license revoked. That means no more renting kidnapping houses, no more construction contracts for sex dungeons…"

So that big red button in Skye's was for a sex dungeon? I glance over at Skye, whose expression bears nothing but guilt, with red cheeks and a shirked posture.

"Alright, I think the other Bad Boys have some questions for our guest," Damien changes the subject, gesturing to me.

A Bad Boy dressed like a surfer dude raises his hand, "Uhm yeah, how much have you and Skye...you know...done?"

My eyes go to Skye, hoping he'll answer that question for me. Thankfully, he does.

"Well, I mean, we've known each other for a couple of days, so uhm...nothing really," he confesses with a nervous chuckle.

Jeff laughs, "A couple days? By the third day I had Sue strapped to the ceiling in my sex dungeon."

I gasp. How does someone respond to that? Say that it's terrible? Call him an asshole? Slap him? A combination of the three?

"Well, that's all the time we have. Same time next week?" Damien concludes, as the rest of the Bad Boys start to shuffle out.

Skye gets up, and takes my hand, "Well...that was...that was...an experience."

"You're telling me," I smirk, before moving my hand out of his.

He frowns, before grabbing my hand again. I pull away, but he grabs again.

Jeff laughs at the two of us, before turning around to walk away, "Remember Skye, you'd do a lot better if she was scared of you."

I look over at Skye, a worried expression on his face. I put my hand on his shoulder, "Honestly, I think you're doing great."

"But is it getting closer to my goal?" he responds.

He takes my hand off of his shoulder, and into his. I let my hand linger there for a second, before pulling away.

"You can't force those kinds of things. It's just something that has to...happen. Maybe over a long period of time."

Skye pouts, "You're just drawing this out for the drama."

I roll my eyes, before smiling and winking, "C'mon, do you think I'd really do that?"


	14. The Mandatory First Kiss

Chapter 14

I walk back to the dorms with Skye, with Jeff having disappeared off to somewhere else. The idea of Jeff wandering around unsupervised concerns me, but at the same time him tagging along with us also concerns me.

"Well, that certainly was interesting," Skye chuckles.

I twist my lip, "Whenever someone uses the word 'interesting', it's usually just a nice way to saying that it was a disaster."

He shrugs, "I didn't want to say it aloud."

As we continue walking, Skye takes my hand, but I immediately pull away.

"Skye, we've talked about this! I'm not interested in a relationship, I don't feel ready," I protest.

"But...we've already passed the 'friendzone' period. We've known each other for almost a week now. That's _such_ a long time, how much longer do I have to wait?"

I sigh, "Skye, it's not a matter of waiting to get out of the friendzone...I know it sounds cliché but-"

"Might as well go ahead. We're practically hitting all of the major notes already," Skye grumbles.

"Ugh...it's not you, it's me," I tell him, cringing as that overused line rolls off of my tongue.

Skye shakes his head, "I don't believe you. You get...creeped out by me at times, I know that."

"Can you blame me? It's not even the goth thing, it's the stalking, the pictures, the...the _sex dungeon_. Skye, I don't care how old you are, those are not normal things for a high-schooler."

He grows silent, placing his hands in his pockets and bowing his head as we continue to walk back to the dorms. Have I...hurt his feelings? He'd seemed pretty resilient in my refusal of his advancements so far, maybe this is his breaking point.

"...Jeff was right. You're just like all the other girls. You won't accept me. If I want you, I have to force you into it," Skye grabs my arm and starts pulling me toward him.

I lock down my body, securing my legs and pulling back with equal force, "Skye, what's gotten into you?!"

He tightens his grip on me, "You don't understand. I _need_ you. I love you, like no one else will ever love you. I'm literally made for you, I have no other purpose in life!"

I jerk my arm away from him, stumbling back. He's out of control, I need to defuse the situation, stat.

"Skye...that's your problem. You don't have any other driving purpose other than pursuing me. That's...partially why I can't be with you. You're not a person. You're...a single-minded force, without deviation, or complexity," I tell him, slowly stepping back.

He sniffles, "I'm…I'm complex. I wear guyliner."

I can't help but chuckle, "That's not what I mean. If I were ever to date someone, I would want them to be someone with interests, dreams, goals...a purpose outside of me. Something about them I could root for."

"...that's a very strange boyfriend requirement," Skye observes.

I smile, "Trust me, it's easier than it sounds."

Whipping the tears from his eyes, he stands up straight and nods, "Alright, if that's what you want in a man, than that's what I'll become."

"Skye, you don't have to-"  
"No," he interrupts, "I'm doing this...for you. I will do this. And then we'll be together."

I slap my palm on my forehead. While he's not quite getting the full message, I guess it's a start.

"Well, alright, if that's what you think is best. Just...no more stalking, okay?" I ask.

He slumps his shoulders, "...not even a little?"

I tilt my head to the side and glare at him, crossing my arms. He sighs, "...I'll try."

My expression becomes more friendly, and I walk over to pull him into a hug. He immediately wraps his arms around me, pulling me in as close as he can.

"You're doing great, Skye. You can do this," I assure him.

"And then we can go out?" he asks.

I bring my head up from his shoulder, "We'll see."

Skye closes his eyes, puckers his lips, and starts to pull me in for a kiss. Hmm...should I take it? I mean, we are fourteen chapters in...but then again, Skye has only been a proper character for about nine chapters, give or take...eh, what the hell?

I close the space between us, and we kiss. ...there, are you satisfied?

We let go, with Skye panting heavily, "That was...my, my first kiss."

I nod, "Yeah, mine too."

"...really?"

I raise an eyebrow, "Dude, I'm thirteen, what'd you think it was? My fourth?"

He slaps his forehead, "Right...right."

I pull myself away from him, "Well, I'm going back to my dorm. Don't...don't follow me, okay?"

"Oh...okay," his posture slumps, his arms hanging down.

I smile, before giving him one last peck on the cheek, "I'm rooting for you, Skye."


	15. Setting Up a New Plotline

Chapter 15

I walk into Science Fiction class, the room cluttered with planetariums and other diagrams, wallpaper of mathematical formulas running across the room.

Sue and Erik are already busy making out in the back, while Mary pretends she doesn't notice. Skye sits by the window, gesturing for me to sit next to him. I decide to sit toward the middle, away from my friends, if I could even call them that.

The teacher, an older portly man in his fifties, walks in reading a weathered, pocket-sized novel. He adjusts his thin, circular glasses, before speaking.

"Good morning class. My name's Mr. Marin, and this is Science Fiction class. You know, I took this class when I was about your age. But just because it's been awhile since I've been a student, that doesn't mean I'm not still cool, daddio."

Mary's eyes go wide, while Sue and Erik snicker in the corner.

Noticing the uncomfortable silence of the class, Mr. Marin clears his throat, "Well, today we will be learning about the Hero's Journey. Who's heard about the Hero's Journey?"

A majority of the class raises their hands, and Mr. Marin chuckles, "Good, good. Well, could anyone give me a basic layout of the Hero's Journey?"

Mary is the first to raise her hand, "An average teenager finds out they're special, they're sent away to a supernatural world, they learn to use their powers while finding a love interest, and they eventually defeat the bad guy and get the love interest."

"Well, that's a little bit more specific than I was thinking," Mr. Marin mumbles, "the Hero's Journey doesn't have to be about a teenager. What about Star Wars? That's a good example of the Hero's Journey."

Erik stares down the teacher, confused, "But...doesn't Anakin become the bad guy in the end?"

Mr. Marin's face becomes a bright red, as steam starts coming out of his ears, " **How dare you...how dare you consider those blastphamous prequels to be part of Star Wars canon?!** "

"But...how is it a prequel...if it's called 'Episode I'?" Sue questions.

The teacher's eyes begin to bulge, as his entire body turns a bright scarlet, " **The prequels...can't even...hold a candle, to the originals!** "

In blind rage, Mr. Marin runs out the door screaming, slamming it shut. The entire class falls silent, until Mary raises her hand.

"Does that mean we can leave now?"

* * *

During lunch, I finally decide to try Wattpad High's cafeteria. The white circular tables and wide open courtyard space outside look almost too clean and idyllic to be a high school, appearing more like what rich Hollywood producers think an average American school looks like.

"Hey, better get in line, today they're serving a suspicious food-like product substance," Skye nudges me in the arm.

I turn and smile, although I approach him with caution. Maybe he's started to change, or, you know, maybe he's still super weird.

"Hey Skye. Yeah, the online menu said 'chilli hotdogs', so I'm looking forward to some yummy grease and processed meats," I grab a tray and wave it in front of him like an over-enthusiastic Disney star.

Am I over-calculating everything? Is he picking up the fact that I'm just a little uncomfortable around him, and for good reason too?  
We each grab one of the individually wrapped hotdogs, as well as a juice pack and a cookie, and head to an empty table to sit.

"Wow, it's so crowded here. Who knew so many people ate at the cafeteria?" I chuckle to Skye, trying to make conversation.

He nods, leaning in towards me, "Yeah, this is how high school is usually portrayed in movies, combined with the author's biased view of what high school is."

"Hmm...yeah, I see-" I suddenly jolt when I realize what he said, "Hey!"

He laughs, "It's true."

Mary and Sue slam their trays down as they sit down at our table.

"Hey lovebirds!" Mary shouts, throwing up her hands in the air.

Sue points to us with her elongated sleeve, "Have you seen the pics going around of you two? Too cute…"

"The what?!" I gasp, my stomach sinking.

Mary whips out her phone and pulls up Snapchat, "Duh, someone snapped a pic of you two making out last night. It's literally on everyone's story right now, how have you not seen it?"

"I don't have Snapchat!" I explain, "And if it's 'literally on everyone's story', why hasn't it gotten onto other social media yet?"

She rolls her eyes, "Because of course this kind of stuff is only meant for Snapchat. Snapchat is for two things: when you wanna text in class, and when you're posting shady shit. Get it, grandma?"

I glare at Mary, before turning away to eat my hotdog. I try to ignore the fact that Mary and Sue both have nothing on their lunch trays. Why even bring them out?

"You might wanna rethink that hotdog," Mary comments, just as I'm about to take the first bite.

I raise an eyebrow, before taking an extra big bite just to spite her, making drawn-out, exaggerated chews.

"Whoo! Girl power!" Skye shouts, raising up both of his arms.

Mary scoffs, "Oh c'mon. She has no power if she's fat."

Sue chimes in, "But...aren't the bossy women always portrayed as overweight-"

"Would you shut up?! Why don't you just go back to your stupid boyfriend already?!" her cousin snaps at her, and Sue nearly falls out of her seat.

I speak up, "Woah...Mary, lay off. She didn't do anything wrong-"

She stands, flipping over her tray, "You're all jerks, you know that?! Just...don't, okay?"

Mary marches out of the cafeteria in a dramatic fashion, her hair swaying and her jewelry jangling along to match her mood.

"Well...someone's a drama queen. You know what's up?" Skye asks, resting his cheek on his hand.

"...she's always been like this," Sue explains, "whenever someone tries to disprove her, she just...flips out."

I sigh, before standing on my feet, "Ugh...I better go after her."

"I...I don't know if that's a good idea," she warns.

I turn around, "Well...are you going to?"

Sue hides her head in her baggy sweatshirt, and shakes vigorously. Guess that's a no.

I'm halfway out of the cafeteria when I spot Skye trailing me. Didn't I tell him not to follow me? Or...or maybe he justs wants to help.

Once I'm in the dead, empty hallways, I lean against the wall and wait for Skye to catch up.

"Hey...what's up?" I ask, tilting my head.

He comes to a stop right in front of me, before reaching out to touch my cheek. I turn away.

"No Skye," I push his hand away while looking away.

Skye sighs, "...look, I'm trying my best, okay? I...I actually read some of those other books I keep on my shelf."

"What, you mean the ones that aren't murder manuals? That's...I mean, I'd assumed you'd already read them but...that's good, Skye. It's a good start," I nod, still glancing downward.

He perks up, smiling, "I know, right?"

His grin slowly fades as he reads my expression, "It's not enough, is it? You want me to be more, don't you? Before we can go out."

I cross my arms, "Well...no offense but...yeah."

Skye tries reaching out again, but I back away this time. He slaps his hand down, "I just want you to notice me. ...notice me senpai."

I put my foot down, "Don't say that Skye, I know exactly what you want, and you're not getting it so easy, no matter what the readers say."

"Bu-but...we kissed! The ship has sailed! We still need a ship name, but it's sailed nonetheless!" he reminds me.

"That doesn't mean anything. Now, I have to go. We've completed our filler for this chapter," I grumble, before ducking out of the situation, continuing to walk along the hallway.

Skye calls after me, "Hey, hey, it's not just filler! It's setup for future plot points!"


	16. The False Revelation

Chapter 16

I find Mary in one of the school hallways, the halls and classrooms all deserted for lunch. For some reason, our school has lockers, even though it's a boarding school and the dorms are more-or-less within walking distance.

Mary lifts up an entire row of lockers with her bare hands and hurls it across the hallway, watching it skid to a stop on its side.

"...you're paying for that," I tell her, pointing to the giant dents in the floor made by the lockers.

She flips her tousled hair, still perfectly in place, "Oh don't worry, I can afford it. I'll just pay for it using the billions I've earned in finance and stock-market speculation."

Mary marches past me as she lifts up another set of lockers, this time bending the metal until the row of lockers snaps in half, papers and books spilling out like a pinata. I look on in horror, and before I can reign in my expression, Mary spots me.

"...what? You didn't know I'm a metalbender?"

Tossing the large, heavy objects aside, she raises her arms, "I can also control the air!"

Twisters appear out of her hands, and pull all of the loose papers and books that'd flown out of the lockers she'd destroyed. They swirl inside the twisters, and Mary screams, before launching the twisters away, sending them and their contents out the window, smashing the glass in the process.

Heavily out of breath, Mary whips around to me, fire in her eyes, "What do _you_ want?"

"Hey, I-...I just wanted to make sure you're okay," I confess, putting my hands up in defense.

"Well, do you have your answer?" she asks, gesturing to the destruction around us.

"Mary, what's been up with you? I know you don't like Sue dating Eric, but-"

She cackles, "You think this has _anything_ to do with Sue-...okay, maybe it has a little bit to do with her. But it's more than that! You just...you don't understand!"

I cross my arms, "Well, if I don't understand, then explain it to me."

"No," she flips her hair, "If I'm going to explain my motivations, I will give it the treatment it deserves: it'll be delivered in piecemeal fashion, bit-by-bit, so that the readers will see me as #relatable."

I raise an eyebrow, "I don't think that's how it works."

Mary slumps to the ground, sliding her perfect body against the wall until her red miniskirt hits the floor, "Why don't people like me?"

"What do you mean? Mary, people like you well enough. You have me, and Sue looks up to you so much-"

"Yeah, but think about how much more I deserve! I mean...I've won a Nobel Prize in every category, saved a third world country from an evil dictator, and invented a popular mobile game! People should be singing my praises, but somehow...I'm still...average," she mopes.

I sit down with her on the ground, "It doesn't have as much to do with what you've accomplished Mary...it's how you come off to people. Even if you've done all of these amazing things, you still need to be a good person. And even with all of your achievements...no one's perfect."

She shakes her head, "No...you don't understand...I'm suppose to be perfect…"

I place my hand on her shoulder, "...do you really want to be?"

Mary yanks my hand away, standing up and leaping out the nearest window. The glass shatters, twinkling around Mary's body while not making a single scratch.

With a sigh, I shuffle back down to the cafeteria, wondering who's going to clean up the mess. I sit down at our table.

"So...you're alive. That's a good sign," Sue nods, briefly lifting her elongated sleeves away from her lips.

I shake my head, "I don't know, honestly. She needs to realize that her life can't be perfect and...and I think that's something she has to realize on her own."

"But you do realize she can't come to that conclusion right away?" Skye points out, "She has to come to a less perfect, more misguided conclusion first, and that'll lead to crazy hijinks and melodramatic conflict-"

"Idea!" Mary's strong, forward voice sounds across the entire cafeteria, causing the room to go silent.

She leaps up onto one of the tables, and jumps from table to table until she reaches ours.

Still standing, she announces, "If I can steal Sue's boyfriend from her, that'll make me definitively better than her! It's perfect!"

Eric glances over from his table of male writers, a confused expression the only thing he seems to have to offer.

"Wh-...why me?" Sue shudders, as she starts to sink under the table.

"No questions, boyfriend time!" Mary leaps into action, jumping several feet in the air to travel from our table to Eric's.

She lands directly on Eric's lap, "Hey sexy."

Completely bewildered, Eric remains frozen as Mary straddles herself on Eric's legs, "Well...what are you waiting for? Find me attractive yet?"

Sue slams her head onto the table, burying herself in her oversized sleeves.

Mary twirls her hips around with her knees on the chair, "Because it's universally agreed on that the sexier a girl is, the more men are attracted to her. Men are easily manipulated, and all it takes is a good body, smooth features, and a short skirt to get them calling."

Eric raises a finger to protest, but he stops himself, thinks it over for a bit, and then puts his hand back down, remaining silent.

"Okay, I get it. Literary fiction is mainly targeted at a female audience, so all the men have to be either dumb as nails, or a combination of really attractive and easily attainable but...c'mon, give us some credit here!" Skye cries out, but no one pays attention.


	17. The Face-Off

Chapter 17

After school, I walk into the courtyard of Wattpad High. There, Sue and Eric are cuddling on a nearby bench.

"I love you, baby," he whispers with a picture-perfect smile.

She blushes in all her beauty and predictability, "I love you too."

I cross my arms and try to smile as I approach them, "Hey guys…"

The two of them swirve their attention towards me, shooting me glares of death, "You don't...interrupt...the love scene."

Waving my hands in defense, I slowly start to walk back, "Oh...sorry…"

"There were some very important plot developments going on...before you showed up," Eric informs me.

Even Sue chimes in to back up her boyfriend, "Yeah, we were getting into some serious character development."

"I didn't...know…" with some skepticism, I remove myself from the picture.

Once I've backed away a considerable distance, Eric and Sue kiss, and rockaby in each other's arms.

"I love you, baby."

"I love you too."

I roll my eyes, before walking over to the patch of grass at the center of the courtyard. However, just as I sit down on the grass, loud music starts blaring from behind me. I turn around to find Mary strutting down the walkway, the pop music accompanying her seemingly coming from nowhere. She's wearing nothing but a stringy, glittery red bra and a matching thong. With air-brushed hair and makeup, she looks...like...there's no other way to put it: a stripper.

She walks straight toward Sue and Eric, the two of them exchanging confused glances between one another. Mary raises her hand, and suddenly Sue becomes surrounded by a red light and lifts into the air. She flails her arms around, trying to regain control of herself. Once her feet are off of the ground, Mary flicks her hand to the left and Sue goes flying. She hits a nearby tree with a thud, her plain but fashionable hair flopping over her head.

With Sue out of the way, Mary sways up to Eric, and puts her hands on his lap, "Hey...Eric."

His eyes flit up and down her body, "...hi…"

Her hands glide further up his thighs, "Like what you see?"

Eric's mouth opens, but nothing comes out. Mary's shakes her behind, and giggles, "You can admit it. It's been obvious from the start, between Sue and I, I'm more attractive cousin."

"Eric…" Sue reaches a hand out from where she lies.

He remains dazed, gazing up at Mary's perfect complexion, "Uh…"

She takes his hand into hers, "You know, I could make a _much_ better girlfriend…"

Just then, a loud stomping sound calls both Mary and Erik to look towards Sue. She's standing, her oversized hoodie hanging over her head.

"Oh...so that's how it's going to be, Mary?" she asks, her voice still quiet, but now with a quality of force.

Mary turns around and sits on Eric's lap, crossing her legs, "Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it?"

In response, she removes her hood, her head still bent down, "Do you not understand what makes me a Mary Sue?"

Just then, Sue faints to the ground, "Someone...please...help…"

Eric snaps out of his trance, pushing Mary off of him so that he runs to Sue. Mary falls on her butt, as Eric helps Sue up.

"Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"

Getting up, Mary scowls. She snaps her fingers, changing her stripper bikini into a dazzling red sequined evening gown, with a slit up the middle and matching gloves. Her hair flourishes into voluptuous curls, and her makeup intensifies.

"Oh Eric…" she says in an irresistible voice.

Eric turns around, and his jaw drops at the sight of Mary. She swings her hips back-and-forth, and gestures him to "come hither" with her index finger. As Eric stands to wander towards Mary, Sue suddenly stands.

"Eric! You're making me feel insecure! I-...am I not pretty enough for you?!" she shouts at him, clutching her stomach.

He turns around, "No-...you're not-..."

"I get it! Mary's prettier than me! I'm going to wallow in a puddle of my own self-hate and misery! Because of my self-image problem, I'll develop anorexia and-"

"And that's where I draw the line!" I declare, getting between Mary and Sue.

Mary crosses her arms, "You can't avoid it. We need to develop Sue's character."

"Yeah," Sue agrees, "I'm attractive through my incompetence and bundle of relatable problems. It's just that my issues only manifest when I need to use them as a weapon."

"If we're going to talk about something like anorexia, I would like it to be in a respectable manner-"

My argument is shut down by Mary, "Tando, you want Sue to be hashtag relatable, but not in a serious, way too real way that actually makes her a human being. No, she's relatable in a sulky, Tumblrette way. She cries about all her mental disorders, and while she never actually seeks any kind of help to fix them, all of her problems are magically gone when she hooks up with tall, dark, and forgettable here-"

Mary gestures to Eric, "Who is so bland that you occasionally spell his name 'Erik' instead of 'Eric' and I bet no one noticed until I pointed it out."

I shake my head, "But...eating disorders are a real...serious problem-"

"Anything is exploitable in the name of cheap appeal," Mary stops me.

"Well, I'm not letting this happen. Not in this chapter. I'm ending it here!" I declare.

Mary scowls, "You may be the author, but you can't do tha-"

Just did.


	18. Underdog's Comeback in the Climax

Chapter 18

I follow Sue as she returns to the dormitories. Mary's gone off somewhere, probably to accept her Pulitzer Prize and then break up an organized crime group.

"Wow Sue, I had no idea you had powers too," I tell her, as she hides half of her face in her sweatshirt.

"Only when I have to," Sue mumbles, "I don't like using my powers."

"That's understandable," I agree, "after all, the last thing I want is you using an eating disorder to attract boys."

"I know insecurity isn't attractive," Sue admits, "that's not my goal."

She sits down on my bed and sighs, "My goal is to be relatable to a presumed straight female audience. That's why I'm insecure to no end, I have eating disorders as well as anxiety and depression-"

"Woah there!" I stop her, "That's a lot to unpack. Let's talk about each issue in a cohesive, respectful manner-"

Sue shakes her head, "There's no point. They're not used as legitimate mental disorders, they're tools to make me more relatable to the audience. The point isn't to represent these real, serious issues, but rather to appeal to the readers' base instincts. That someone who gets nervous in class, or around boys is automatically relatable in the laziest, most generic way because...every girl has felt that way."

I sit down on the bed with her, "Wow...I never knew you had such insight, Sue."

Sue suddenly shrinks into her sweatshirt, "I-...I mean...it's just my opinion...I...I don't know if it's right...I...uhm…"

I raise an eyebrow, and cross my arms at Sue. She peeks up from her oversized sweatshirt, before lifting her head out with a smile, "Fine. Maybe that is how I feel. But you can't tell anyone that I have an actual opinion on something. That's so unrelatable...having an opinion."

Sue and I start to laugh, as she tells me, "You know, maybe it's just because you're the author, and inherently my creator, but I feel comfortable talking to you, Tando."

"Well, you better," I chuckle, "because otherwise I would never be able to get anything even resembling a conversation out of you."

I suddenly go into an imitation of Sue, sinking my neck and head into my shirt, "You'd just be all...uhm...uh...I don't know...please help me Eric!"

Sue laughs, "But you know...I think that's why I connect so much with Eric. We're both actors, in a way. Eric uses his generic beauty to slip into interchangeable roles, and I pretend to be insecure to attract boys and readers alike. One time he dressed up as every member of One Direction all at once."

"Is...that possible?" I ask.

She shrugs, "I don't know. How different are they?"

I think about it for a moment, before I come to a realization, "Oh…"

Sue chuckles, as I continue, "So, what are you going to do about Mary? In terms of powers, you two seem pretty evenly-matched."

"I've been thinking about that too, and you're right, Mary and I are matched in powers. However, Mary can use her powers for anything, because she's powerful at everything. I, on the other hand, can only use my powers to attract guys. So…"

Sue, even through her outwardly shy appearance, gives me a smile of confidence, "I'll just have to bring the battle to my turf."

* * *

In the main courtyard of Wattpad High, Mary and Eric sit on a bench, the same bench Eric and Sue were sitting on earlier. Mary talks incessantly at Eric, as he sits perfectly in place, maintaining a mannequin-esque stillness.

"And that's how I won Miss Universe twelve times in a row! Isn't that funny?!" Mary cackles, trying desperately to keep up conversation.

Eric moves his head as little as he possibly can in order to convey a nod. His pearly white smile is far too straight and shiny, even for him.

Mary pretends to not notice his lack of interest, "So anyway, did I ever tell you about the time I saved the Great Barrier Reef-"

"Uhm...Mary?"

She looks up to find Sue, her mouth and hands concealed by her oversized gray sweatshirt. Mary crosses her arms and rolls her eyes.

"Ready to give up yet, Sue? I've already got your man right here, look at him, he's enraptured by my sheer beauty and interestingness. Right, boo?"

Mary taps Eric on the arm, and he instantly falls over onto his side. Mary gives a nervous chuckle, "He's just taking a nap."

Even with Eric's poor show of affection, Sue still appears convinced, "Oh, oh yes, Mary. You can have Eric."

A smug grin appears on Mary's face, "I'm glad we finally see eye-to-eye cousin-"

Just then, a low grumbling noise can be heard from a distance. The ground starts to shake, as I come running up to Mary and Sue.

"Everyone! Take cover! Hide! Anywhere! Now!" I cry to both of them.

"Why? What's wrong?" Mary asks, not noticing that Sue's expression has shifted into a sly smile.

Sue fakes surprise, gasping and sinking into her sweatshirt, "The White Knights from Tumblr High are visiting!"

Mary's eyes widen as just over the horizon, a stampede of male hipsters riding white horses appear, riding right towards the Wattpad High courtyard.

"Invisibility spell!" Mary shouts, as she instantly disappears from sight.

"Wow, thanks for thinking about the rest of us," I comment, before grabbing the unresponsive Eric and dragging him behind the bench.

"What about Sue?!" Mary shouts to me, still hidden.

"White...Knights...horses...running...oh no…" Sue mumbles before passing out on the ground.

The moment she collapses onto the grass, she kicks up a magical dust that spreads throughout the courtyard. The mist passes over the White Knights, and they stop in place.

"Halt, fellow Knights! I sense something foul afoot in these yonder lands!" the lead Knight gestures to his brethren.

"Perhaps it is the lack of diversity within this establishment of learning that troubles you," another White Knight suggests.

A third White Knight chimes in, "Or maybe it's the representation of an upper-middle class school."

"Someone...help...me…" Sue mumbles, barely conscious on the floor.

Coming to a realization, Mary reappears into view, "Oh...no...she wouldn't…"

The head White Knight hears her, "What's this! Fellow Knights, we have a vulnerable person in peril!"

On their white horses, the White Knights surround Sue, as the lead Knight dismounts to kneel beside her.

"Fair maiden, lad, or person of nongender, what ails thee?" he asks.

"I...I have an eating disorder…" she murmurs.

All of the White Knights gasp in unison, as Sue continues, "And depression…"

Another surprised gasp from the Knights.

"And anxiety…"

"My word, we have ourselves a serious, serious crisis, my Knights," the lead Knight tells the others before turning back to Sue, "don't worry my fair maiden, lad, or person of nongender, we will protect you with every ounce of our being!"

As the lead Knight gets back onto his horse, Mary sneaks behind the bench with Eric and I, "That bitch! She must have lured the White Knights here so that she could manipulate them into doing her bidding!"

"But why the White Knights? Why not just any other guys?" I ask.

Mary snarls, "The White Knights already want to help marginalized people, Sue's powers just turn that up by a thousand."

"White Knights, positions!" the head Knight commands.

On their horses, the White Knights begin forming a circle around Sue, "Don't worry, person of value, we've created a safe space for you."

Sue blushes, becoming genuine for a moment, "Thank you so much, this is actually really nice."

The lead Knight takes Sue onto his horse, "My pleasure, you know, if you're attracted to those who identify as male, I know of some guys who'd like-"

"Stop!" everyone turns to find Eric, who has suddenly regained awareness and is now on his feet.

Eric approaches the White Knight's safe space, but the mounted Knights block his way, "Sue! Please, you don't need a safe space and a bunch of knights! I don't like Mary at all!"

Mary growls, "No! I can't believe he's falling for this bullshit! Eric! You know I'm the better girl! Just look at how amazing I am! I'm **perfect**!"

He turns back to Mary, "...you're right, Mary. You are the better girl. But Sue's the girl for me...you know why? Because she's boring, bland, and attractive...just like me."

Sue gets off of the White Knight's horse, and ducks out of their safe space to run to Eric. He picks her up and twirls her around.

"We were meant for each other, Sue," Eric coos.

Sue giggles, "I don't know what to say."

"It's okay. You don't have to be witty, it would give you too much personality," he chuckles back.

The White Knights watch as Eric and Sue kiss, and the head Knight gestures to the others, "Fellow Knights, our work here is done. Back to the Tumblrlands with us!"

One of the Knights sighs, "I always love a happy ending."

"But this ending would be even happier if they were a non-traditional couple," another Knight chimes in.

Mary watches as Eric and Sue make out, as the White Knights ride off into the sunset behind them. She collapses onto her knees.

"They're...they're made for each other...even I can't tear them apart…"

Her back leans toward the ground until she hits the grass, "I wonder...is there someone like that...out there for me?"

I sigh, covering my head with my hands, "Please don't let that be the next storyline."

Mary glances toward me with a pouty expression. I glare, "No."

She groans, "Dammit."


End file.
